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April 24, 2014

Cancel Arrested Development!!!

by Karina Longworth, posted Mar 14th 2005 7:49PM
260arrested_development.jpgYou've heard the rumors. Emmy for Best Comedy, Golden Globe for Best Actor, WGA Award for Best Episodic Comedy - all of that be damned, low ratings deserve to be punished. And so Fox is probably on the cusp of cancelling Arrested Development. After all, as David Cross helpfully pointed out on The Jimmy Kimmel Show last month, Rupert Murdoch could make a lot more money off of a hip reality show like America's Cutest Retards. Here at TV Squad, we have just one thing to say about that:

"Good Riddance!"

Yeah, that's right. You heard me - we don't want shows like Arrested Development sullying our beloved network. Face it, FOX - nobody wants to watch a character-driven comedy. We want traditional sitcoms that take place in living rooms. With couches. And lazy husbands and hot wives and mean-spirited children. Either that, or procedural dramas. Lots of them. Anything with forensics, you just keep coming. Reality is good too - let's have more of those shows where attractive people eat bugs and poor people fight for prizes. In fact, just put those two shows together - make some hot bug-eating chicks fight over an unemployed factory worker, and then give the winning couple a makeover and a dream house. Then give us a shocking twist. Give us anything, as long as you take away Arrested Development.


We expected more from creator Mitchell Hurwitz - he is, after all, the man that brought us Golden Girls - and no one knows better than executive producer Ron Howard how well tried and true formula works. And yet, they expect us to watch a sitcom without a laugh track? It's like, every single line is potentially funny, and some of them are funny in three or four different ways - how are you suppossed to know when to laugh? They can't all be jokes ... right?  And even if they are, what are you suppossed to do? Watch the thing over and over again to glean jokes that flew past you the first time? It sounds to us like Arrested Development wants to reward viewers who are smart enough to remember old details and have the tenacity to careful pay attention to new ones. That's elitist. We don't like that.

In addition, the "scenes from the next episode" that appear at the end of every Arrested Development installment never actually appear in the following week's episode. This is not only extremely unprofessional, but it's just plain rude to promise something that you have no intention of delivering. I have personal testimonials from dozens of viewers who have been seriously traumatized by this cruel ploy on the part of the producers of Arrested Development - they're trying to get people to tune in the following week for scenes that aren't even there! Why would they trick us like that? We here at TV Squad don't like to be tricked. We don't think you do, either.

Arrested Development is a non-traditional, genre-bending, richly layered and intellectually  complex character-based comedy. Plus, there's a character named Job, but they spell it GOB - and that's just blasphemous.  For all of these reasons and many more, we think Arrested Development must be cancelled. Shows like this make us work hard, and that makes our brains hurt, and we don't like that. We don't need Arrested Development, and we don't want it.

Join us, America, in mobilizing the effort to rid our television screens of such dangerous material. The sooner we get this thing off the air, the sooner we can all sit down, relax, pop open a cold one and bask in the soothing rhythms of America's Cutest Retards.

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117 Comments

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asssa_amsb

sir ur sarcasms rocks!!!!!!! respect.......

January 04 2013 at 12:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
arnbz

sarcasm?

July 29 2011 at 12:46 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
priscillahn94

Thank you, Merp.

June 22 2011 at 2:18 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Merp

The number of people commenting in riposte to this article because they took it seriously is the reason why Arrested Development was canceled.

April 05 2011 at 10:16 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
hollygirl112

I just started renting the seasons of this sitcom, it is pretty funny if you watch it.

February 20 2011 at 11:33 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Naji

That was possibly the most ridiculous article I've ever read. I'm convinced that the author of this article still lives with their parents and lives for shows like Fear Factor and Big Brother. I truly hope this was a joke and completely sarcastic because this is the exacty attitude that kills Arrested Development: STUPID AMERICA.

January 03 2006 at 10:51 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Mathers S. Ghomas

I too, have a hovercraft filled with eels, but for me, it is a good thing. For I too yearn to be canceled, and to have my irony lost on all who view it, thus invalidating me and my eels. You see, we don't get that here. People ski topless while smoking dope, so irony is not really a high priority. At least, on my deathbed I will receive total consciousness. So I got that going for me...which is nice.

January 03 2006 at 2:49 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Amanda

Those of you attacking the author, get your head out of your ass. He's obviously being sarcastic, and he's right. Take a second to think before you retaliate.

December 29 2005 at 12:07 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
jean-marc

arrested development is the best show on tv hands down. fox made the same mistake with family guy, hopefuuly the won't do it again. i've been signing up to any petition I can find and I suggest You do the same. It has the funniest writers since Seinfeld and f*** anyone who isn't smart enough to get it. Help Save The Best Show On TV!!!! I can taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth already-Tobias (hilarious)

December 07 2005 at 7:57 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
jodran

If that wasn't sarcastic, then it is completely wrong. Just because the majority of the population isn't smart enough to understand shows like arrested development, and they don't have the attention-span to realize get through an episode, FOX shouldn't ruin it for the people who enjot intelligent writing more than the reality trash that passes for tv these days. I just hope that they don't mess up the undisputed BEST SHOW EVER like they messed up Family Guy, and like Seinfeld almost was.

November 20 2005 at 11:32 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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