Approximately 490 times in the past week, CBS has run a teaser for the series finale of JAG (tonight at 9), asking viewers the question "how will it end?" Let's look at the possibilities:

• Harm wakes up in his bed after a nightmare, turns on the light, and finds Suzanne Pleshette in his bed.
• Mac discovers that Harm is a robot.
• In an ode to The Crying Game, Harm finds out that Mac is...
• Harm and Mac end up together

You can go to the CBS.com site and take a (real) poll. But look at the question and the options: The question: Mac & Harm: Will they or won't they? And the answers are "definitely will," "definitely won't," and "I'll watch the series finale to find out." Now, first of all, will they or won't they what? Have sex? Get married? Buy a new computer? Cash in their 401ks? And as for the options, can't you answer that they will or they won't and that you're going to watch the finale?