You have to love any episode of any nighttime soap that starts with somebody's mom pouring a glass of breakfast vodka, and ends with a spectacular semi-truck-meets-Beemer total near-death collision. Too bad the scenes from next week's episode kind of ruined the suspense on that one. Still - I'm not completely sure where this whole Kirsten-drinks-her-way-through-her-emotional-insecurity thing is going, but I think I like it.

There's only a couple of episodes left in the season, so all kinds of plotlines are barreling to their spectacular conclusions.

First, who will Summer pick, Zach or Seth? She's clearly too good for either of them, but I've always thought that Zach kid was just too... too... mashed potatoes, you know? That is, until this little exchange:

Seth: All this time I thought you were a nice guy.
Zach: Wake up! I'm a water polo player.
Seth: Of course, the demon water polo player - the ironist's nemesis.

So now, I don't know. Sometimes Seth Cohen is so wishy-washy that he actually gives neurosis a bad name. If Zach's gonna really fight for Summer, then maybe he deserves her.

Meanwhile, Marissa - always one to do the opposite of the right thing - has chosen to repress, repress, repress the fact that Ryan's brother tried to rape her. OF COURSE she has. Because Ryan and Marissa can never be happy together. This is the most star-crossed love story in television history.

That's the thing about this show - nobody ever stays happily partnered for long. Just when it seems like two people are headed off into milquetoast coupledom, Josh Schwartz rips them apart. There's always so much bittersweet to it that I've never found it frustrating, but with Ryan and Marissa it's starting to get tedious. I can see the unravelling of this relationship from a mile away.

Meanwhile, poor Sandy is trying soooo hard with his alcoholic, emotionally-conflicted wife, but I almost want to see Kirsten run off to be with Carter. Of course, she'd have to change her mind and run back to Sandy by the end of the episode, but c'mon - this entire season has been about their marriage teetering on the edge of "temptation", but neither of them ever does anything *truly* scandalous.

So, next week: Kirsten miraculously recovers to drink again; Ryan'll have to figure out who's lying to him, his brother or his one true love; and Julie's got to scramble to out-scheme Caleb before she and Marissa end up homeless. Love it!