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The Apprentice: Martha Stewart: Episode 1
The moral of episode one? Don't ask to eat a banana before reading a children's book.
I'm hooked on this show already. And is it just me or does Martha Stewart seem like a more - yup, and I mean this - human person than The Donald? Sure, that opening walk-thru of her offices seemed as phony as could be - "hi Martha!" - but that's something you're going to get in any reality show. She just seems more real. And boy, does she have better taste.
Martha's two assistants are her daughter Alexis - no nepotism there - and Charles, who likes to hold a cigar (a cigar also figured prominently in another season opener tonight, Still Standing). Everything about this show is different, from the theme song to the look of the offices and living quarters to the host herself and how she interacts with Martha. I'd eat or craft something with Martha anytime.
Martha sends her first note about the first challenge. Is that really her signature at the bottom? It looks like the signature of that guy who had the really shaky scrawl at the bottom of the Declaration of Independence. I hope it was just a fake signature.
The teams meet with Martha and reveal their names. The "creative" team goes with Matchstick, which I like and so does Martha (she can picture the logo). The "business" team goes with Primarius, which is...well, it's stupid. Sounds like the car they might win in one of the challenges.
The first challenge: create a children's book based on a classic children's story.
Bethenny (or was it Dawn - can't remember) is chosen to read the finished story for her team, but asks to eat a banana first. The team practically freaks out on her. She only wanted to take 20 seconds to eat a banana and they freak out? Jeff is particularly despicable. He belittles and arrogantly dismisses her in front of everyone, trying to be so outrageously controlling it's laughable.
And this is one of the many things that I hate about The Apprentice (both this one and Trump's): the people they get for them seem like they were created in some Business 101 Factory. It's like they all read the same lame business books and spout the same lines, same attitude, even the same wardrobe. They don't even seem like they'd fit in anyplace in Martha's world.
Both books go off very well with the kids (side note: if Random House has the resources to put together two nicely illustrated book's in a week, I'd like someone from the company to give me a call. Thanks). I'm not even quite sure which will win. I think it was pretty much a tie.
And so do the Random House people, though they ultimately go with Primarius. The team has dinner (made by a top chef) with Martha, and as they have dinner (like in all of Burnett's shows) we show the other team talking and plotting or scheming. It seems fairly obvious that either Dawn or Jeff is going to go (with Jim as a long shot).
The team meets in the boardroom with Martha and Alexis and Charles and argue about who did what and who didn't do what. Many people pick on Dawn. Project manager Jeff picks Dawn and Jim to go into the boardroom with him (no surprise there).
Jim and Dawn go up against Jeff, saying that everything Martha didn't like about the book was Jeff's fault. Martha agrees, saying he didn't connect with the kids and didn't even connect with his teammates. She votes him out.
AND HERE'S MARTHA'S CATCH PHRASE: "You just don't fit in."
Ha!
Charles was right. This was the right decision. If Jeff hadn't been voted off, I don't think I could have watched it next week. I really liked Martha's hand written note to Jeff at the end, explaining why she voted her off. That's a great Martha touch. This is her show all the way. And that's a good thing.
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