America's Next Top Model: Episode 2

It's makeover time! And how funny was it that the girl with the big, hairy eyebrows read the Tyra mail that said, "Don't bemoan a hairy situation"? Don't lie. You know, you laughed. I know I laughed. Ah, it's fun to make fun of beautiful people. Normally, the makeover show for Top Model is my favorite, but this one was pretty uneventful. I must say that most of the girls took their makovers pretty well, minus Miss Cassandra, the world's prettiest robot. And how great was it that they gave her the most radical makeover! Tyra wanted her to look like Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby, and of course, she cried like a big robotic baby.

Wa, wa, wa. Oh, it must be so hard to have such a beautiful face that you don't need long hair. Look, very few women are beautiful enough to pull off a super short haircut like that. You should be flattered that Tyra and Jay think of you as having "the face" to make it work. It was sort of funny to see all the girls hiding their evil smirks while Cassandra was mourning her lost locks.

Probably the biggest makeover this episode (minus Cassandra's hair) was Lisa's personality. When did Lisa turn into a bitch? She was my favorite on the first episode, but now I don't know. She's turned into a diva! She's bossing all the other girls around and talking trash. Honestly, was she drunk? Every time they showed her around the house, she's yelling at other girls with a glass in hand and she's sorta slurring. Is she hitting the booze? Perhaps she's already modeling supermodel behavior -- at least the Janice Dickinson/Kate Moss/Naomi Campbell variety. As much as her personality (suddenly) sucks, you gotta admit...she looks great in photographs.

During the personal style makeover competition, I was sort of bored. I expected the girls to get crazier with their looks. Everyone was sorta tame. Not a lot of personalities in this batch. Plus, that James St. James guy should have been meaner in his evaluations of them. I thought club kids were supposed to be catty? I saw that Macaulay Culkin Party Monster movie. I know what's up. I think if you're gonna come out dressed in clown couture, you should have more of a diva personality. The Insane Clown Posse could have given better fashion instruction then James St. James.

I liked the idea for this week's photo shoot. I liked that the girls were paired off and put in the same outfits to duel it out. That was great. Nik looked amazing! Where did that amazing butt come from? It didn't show in other pictures and then all of a sudden this week -- ass, ass, ass! It made me jealous. (By the way, the UPN site hasn't put up pictures yet of this week's photo shoot. Check back later to see if they do.)

Tyra looked stunning at the elimination this week. Absolutely gorgeous with the straight hair, and the bangs, and that black dress. You think that those girls are beautiful, and then you see them next to Tyra, and they just look like little girls playing dress-up. During the elimination evaluation, Coryn (formerly Miss Eyebrows) gets picked on again when James comments that, "She seems to be going for Beyonce, but ends up more RuPaul." If it's revealed that she's a man at the end of this season, then I'm going to die laughing. That would be the best twist on things ever.

Ebony ends up getting eliminated, which is a real bummer. She seems like a really nice girl and by the looks of all the girls crying, she probably was. But her photo was pretty bad. I don't feel too bad for her though -- she's still in high school and I remember her saying that she was in Advanced Placement classes. Hey, being smart, nice, and beautiful isn't a bad way to end up in life. I'm sure Ebony will have plenty more opportunities in the future...and beyond just modeling. 

In the preview for next week's episode, they hint at some lesbian action between tomboy Kim and small town beauty Sarah. It could just be clever editing or it could be for real. A romance in the house...who would have thought?