America's Next Top Model: Episode 7
When did Kyle's boobs get so big and when did she get so dumb? I swear, the boobies were smaller and she was smarter in last week's episode. I guess that is what happens with clever editing. And what was this week's big lesson? Big boobs and being dumb gets you no where. It gets you eliminated from the show and it sends you back to your job at Dairy Queen. (Dairy Queen? I mean, honestly, she can't get an old rich dude to take care of her?) Yup, Kyle got the shaft this week and I'm not making a clever reference to the classic film character and/or a large penis. Nope, she quite literally got the shaft when she was eliminated. I really don't feel too bad about it. I didn't have any feelings either way towards Kyle. Quite frankly, she's just a hot dumb girl and hot dumb girls don't really incite a lot of emotion from me. Apparently, not from the judges either and that's why she got sent home. I shrug my shoulders with apathy. No more Kyle...I'll live.
There were two photo shoots this week and Tyra proved herself quite the little make-up artist/creative director. Those black and white photos looked amazing. But then again, they were done by Tyra and everything that Tyra does is perfect. She probably even poops perfect.
I liked the military-commando-slogging-through-the-mud thing they did this week before they went on their go-sees with ELLEgirl. But what is it with all the complaining? So, they were covered in smelly mud...so what? It wasn't horse shit. Why do these bitches have to complain so much? Of course, no complaining from Lisa, who actually relished the mud bath. And that's why she won the competition and got a private session with a pro stylist. If these girls don't start bringing it, then Lisa is going to win this competition. She's not even that pretty, but she's fierce.
I didn't care so much for the pin-up girl photo shoot. I love pin-up girls, but nobody left on the show really has too many curves (because they already eliminated the big-assed girls). I thought the photos looked kinda boring. Lesbian Kim's photo was surprisingly good. Who knows? Maybe she will be able to pull it off. I still don't think she's gonna win, but she certainly keeps inching through.
During elimination the girls were told to go into the other room and pick out a sexy outfit. But nobody looked that sexy (minus Jayla). They all played it really safe and did the whole "I'm just lying around the house waiting for my boyfriend to get home, so we can snuggle" kinda thing. That's fine, but I think Tyra was looking for the "my boyfriend is outta town and I'm gonna hit the club with my favorite bitches and get free drinks from cute college boys" kinda thing. And none of them had that (minus Jayla). Kyle's outfit was plain dumb (just like her) and I loved Miss J's, "that's so housewife" comment. And speaking of Miss J, he finally got a blowout! Thank God. Last week's hair was beat. It's much better now. But still, I gotta say, he's got the worst hair for any gay black man I've ever seen.
So Kyle is gone. Wait...has anybody noticed that whomever Kim hangs out with, they get sent home that week? Strange, but true. You know how leprechauns are supposed to be lucky? Well maybe, lesbians are unlucky? I don't have any scientific proof, but I'm sure I can fabricate some sort of evidence. Like, 88% of lesbians lose their rent money every time they go to the race track. Yup, that works. I successfully fabricated evidence. So it's official, lesbians are unlucky charms.
Next week, the girls hang out with the Jackass crew minus Bam and Johnny Knoxville, the two hot ones. Sigh, always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

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