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October 6, 2015

The Five: Shows that give lazy overweight men hope

by Keith McDuffee, posted Nov 3rd 2005 11:21AM
king of queensI think I may have stumbled upon a reason why many American males between the ages of, say, 26 and 37 are overweight and plan on staying that way: They've watched, and believed, at least one of the shows I'm about to list. It gives hope and promise that, some day, they will happen upon that secret formula for landing a hot wife the likes of Jami Gertz or Leah Remini, who stick by their man no matter how lazy, bumbling and slobby they may be. Note that being overweight was not the only factor here, but I also took into account idiot factor, job status and childcare knowledge. Here are some top offenders:
5) Seinfeld (George and Susan) -- This is at the bottom of the list, since it was likely meant to be funny that George was meant to not only somehow date this woman, but have her agree to marriage. Though in some respects, this could be at the top of the list, as George is clearly the most despicable character among the bunch. Fat, lazy, stupid, cowardly, massive shrinkage -- so, what did Susan see, again? At least he's likely the best dressed of the bunch, believe it or not. Though George was known to wear sweatpants on occasion, he did wear a suit to work and rarely wore the familiar flannel-shirt-with-T-shirt-underneath look that everyone else on this list seems to wear. All. The. Time.

4) Still Standing (Bill and Judy Miller) -- Jami Gertz finds this guy a good catch? I think the tile is pretty accurate actually, as it no doubt has to do with the fact that Judy somehow still wants to stick around this guy ever since they met in High School. And Bill got her to have three kids with him, yet in typical TV stereotype fashion, often has no clue what to do with them. And he sells toilets. Oh, come on now.

3) Yes, Dear (Jimmy and Christine Hughes) -- Jimmy is (or at least was when I saw the show last) overweight, unemployed, yet feels like he has what it takes to tell Greg how to be a manly father. And Liza Snyder is definitely nothing to sneeze at in the looks department, so Jimmy may just be the top authority in landing and keeping a hot wife while basically doing nothing at all. Yes, dear God.

2) According to Jim (Jim and Cheryl) -- I had this thing for Courtney Thorne-Smith back when she was in that cult classic movie, Summer School (well, it in my cult it was a classic). She kind of fell off that short pedestal when she joined Melrose Place and Ally McBeal, but there's no denying one thing: Jim Belushi's dumpy ass shouldn't be with this woman. I couldn't stand watching this show past episode two (yes, I lasted two whole episodes), so how can this woman stand living with this man for years? The only people I can see liking this show are those who love watching a man make a complete and total ass of himself when trying to take care of their kids. Yawn! How is this show still on the air again?

1) King of Queens (Doug and Carrie Heffernan) -- I'm not really sure I need to go into a whole lot of detail here. From what I've watched, the show is funny, but can I believe that this guy shouldn't be worshiped by his buddies because of the hot wife he somehow has been able to keep hold of? He slobs around in a garage and works as a parcel delivery guy. King of Queens? Yeah, that's about right if you're able to live that way and keep hold of Leah Remini.

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You're a jackass. Kevin James is hot and he's brilliant to boot. Those who can't DO, criticize.. right?

July 18 2006 at 5:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I would have to say that Jean Louisa Kelly's character on Yes, Dear (Kim Warner) beats out Liza Snyder. So..maybe Jimmy should look up to Greg after all.

November 04 2005 at 10:01 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Roger Rees

As a fat man, I worship Doug. But, in his defense, my hot wife thinks that he is attractive.

November 03 2005 at 6:34 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

"For Tony above, excluding surgical enhancements, or hell, even including them, how many women have gotten decidely hotter as time has gone by?" Katie Couric. Maybe she has had surgery, I'm not sure. All I know is she is 10x hotter than she was 15 years ago. I thought for sure when I caught an episode of Queens last season that Leah Remni was preggers. She definately plumped up. One theme was missed in the fat, lazy, dopey dad with the super hot wife genre. With the exception of the character played by Jami Gertz, all these women have an exceptionally high bitch factor. C'mon Debra Barrone wouldn't even let her husband play a round of golf without laying on the guilt!

November 03 2005 at 5:32 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Elliott, ha! No kidding! And see another post today about Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco. Thankfully they didn't get married or reproduce, but. Ugh. I don't watch Desperate Housewives, but from what I've read here about Susan, I don't doubt it.

November 03 2005 at 2:44 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Tony Scida

My only quibble is that the wife on King of Queens has gotten decidedly less hot as time has gone by.

November 03 2005 at 2:24 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I don't think these show are unrealistic at all. For "Real" example see Britey Spears and Kevin Federline's Show (Chaotic, I think)

November 03 2005 at 1:47 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Evadne -- If Susan on Desperate Housewives were to marry a fat slob, that would definitely do the reverse.

November 03 2005 at 1:44 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I'd still keep Lois on the list--Family Guy is parodying the whole trend (maybe even genre?) of sitcoms that feature the moron with the much hotter, smarter wife. Is this trend reversible, though? Are there any shows that feature a moronic wife with a hotter husband? I can't think of one.

November 03 2005 at 1:40 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Everybody Loves Raymond started the "dopey guy/hot patient wife" trend, and somehow King of Queens added "fat" to that equation. Now, nearly every CBS sitcom follows that formula. It's quite disgusting, if you ask me, and gives us overweight but industrious guys a bad image. That being said, of course, Raymond and Queens are funny shows. But they're still unrealistic. Oh, notice that virtually everybody George Costanza dated looked like they were way out of his league? I wonder if that was a little "wish fulfillment" on the part of Larry David. I mean, look at who plays his wife on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

November 03 2005 at 1:35 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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