Sweeps stunts to make you watch

It's that time of year again. Networks go to great lengths to hijack your eyeballs in order to set higher advertising rates for themselves. They bring in celebrity guest stars, kill off your favorite characters, and have girls make out (did anyone see The O.C. last February?).

Hello, sweeps.

What gimmick will get you to set your TiVo to record? There are quite a few unusual options this time around:

• It all starts this Sunday, November 6 on NBC when actors--I mean, presidential candidates--faux debate each other live on The West Wing. Because everyone loves a debate.
  
• Is real life more interesting than fiction? In the celebrity cameo department, Demi Moore's former husband (Bruce Willis) and her current husband (Ashton Kutcher) will appear as adversaries on That '70s Show when Kutcher makes his big return on Wednesday, November 16.
• Maybe underwater magic is more your speed. On Sunday, November 13, NBC airs Penn & Teller: Off the Deep End, a two-hour magic show done underwater. Don't worry, this also has special guests, including psychic dolphins and a disappearing submarine.
• And speaking of sinking ships...on Thursday, November 10, The Apprentice contestants come face-to-face with storm troopers when they're tasked to come up with a marketing campaign for the release of Star Wars: Episode III on DVD. Maybe Chewbacca can give Trump some grooming tips.
• The CSI franchise is offering up a double threat when it debuts Madonna's new song, Hung Up, on crossover episodes of CSI: Miami and CSI: NY on Monday, November 7 and Wednesday, November 9 on CBS
  
• Will you see dead people? See what Allison sees when Medium goes 3-D on Monday, November 21 on NBC. Where do I get my 3-D glasses?
  
• He jumped on Oprah's couch, knocked up a teen idol, and played doctor with Brooke Shields' post-partum depression. Will Tom Cruise be Number 1 on Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2005? It airs on Tuesday, November 29 on ABC.