Funny piece up at McSweeney's that asks the question, "what would happen if actor Wilford Brimley asked a waiter for Splenda?"

If you can't place the name, Brimley is the big guy with the white hair and mustache who does those commercials for diabetes products. He also played the grandpa on Our House in the 80s, the postmaster general on Seinfeld, one of the bad guys in The Firm, and did oatmeal commericals for several years.

Kyle, when you're diabetic, you're entitled to diabetes testing supplies at little or no cost if you're a Medicare beneficiary, which you may or may not have known. So when you put those 10 packets of Imperial brand sugar on my table here, you did me a great disservice. As a diabetic, Kyle, I'm entitled to diabetes testing supplies and I check my blood sugar close to 329 times a day—in fact, I've checked my blood sugar 13 times since I sat down to this wonderful little meal of baby back ribs and chips. So what you did, Kyle, was tantamount to serving an alcoholic a shot of whiskey.