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The Five: Greatest TV Moustaches
A few weeks ago, while hosting Saturday Night Live, Jason Lee made a comment that his show (My Name is Earl) inspired him to grow "one of the greatest moustaches ever." Point taken, Jason. That big bush above your lip can indeed be identified as a mighty sweet womb broom. (Free moustache rides anyone?) But is it truly one of the greatest moustaches ever? That's a bold statement for a moustache newcomer to make. While moustaches are making a comeback, there is a fine line between a hot thick bush and creepy lip dirt. Here are my picks for the best television 'staches of all time.5. Geraldo Rivera- Quite frankly, this moustache makes me want to puke. It's big, but sloppy. (And I don't much care for the man attached to it.) But to leave Geraldo off the list would be blasphemy. For that reason alone, I include him on the list, but refuse to comment on his lip bush further.
4. Spike from Peanuts- No, I never knew his name either, but he's Snoopy's wayward brother and he lives in the desert. The only thing that really keeps him from being an exact Snoopy clone is the Indian Jones hat and the untamed moustache, which is about as visually revolutionary as putting a bow on PacMan and calling him Ms. PacMan. But Spike's moustache is trendsetting as far as canines go. Not many dogs have moustaches, but they should. I know, I've tried to convince my beagle, Brooklyn, time and time again to grow one. But no matter how much I tell her how en vogue canine 'saches are right now...she continues to wake up every morning and shave. It's costing me a fortune in paw-friendly razors.
3. Earl from My Name is Earl- That is a sweet 'stache, Jason, and I've never been a fan of facial hair on hot guys, but you've converted me. Not only is Earl's moustache oddly erotic (to me at least), but it perfectly compliments his name in a barbershop quartet-sort of way.
2. Katie Holmes from TomKat- Oh wait, she's Tom Cruise's beard, not his moustache. My mistake, which means that #2 is really...
2. Traveling Matt from Fraggle Rock- Traveling Matt was Gobo's uncle on the most incredible show to ever rock my life (when I was 4). I guess there is something about wayward relatives that make them want to wear funny hats and grow sweet moustaches (see Spike).
Honorable Mention, Ravishing Rick Rude-A lot of dudes in the old days of WWE sported a thick 'stache, but Rick Rude's was the most ravishing. Not only because it increased his slimy-ness, but I can only imagine how much it would tickle the ladies when he pulled them out of the audience and "treated them" with a Rude Awakening.
1) Magnum from Magnum PI- Was there ever any doubt that this would be anything but #1?
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