The Five: Shows that wouldn't die

Television history is chock full of long-running shows that rank among the greatest of all time. Cheers. M*A*S*H. Gunsmoke. Cosby. The Simpsons. Then there are some long-running shows that have been recognized for their quality at some point or another, even though they may have had a few final years of mediocrity. ER and Law & Order are falling into this category.

But there were some shows... boy, they just wouldn't go away. They were never critically acclaimed, or caught any watercooler buzz; they often didn't even win their timeslots. But for one reason or another, the network saw fit to renew them, year after year, until they started crawling up the list of all-time longest-running shows.

The five on this list led the most remarkable of charmed lives. How can you tell? Well, let's put it this way: the common reaction to these shows isn't "Wow, what a great show," it's usually, "Damn! It was on how long?"

1. The Facts of Life - This is the ultimate Rasputin show. Originally convceived as a spinoff for the Mrs. Garrett character on Diff'rent Strokes, the show ultimately lasted for nine years -- nine years! -- surviving through changes that would have killed off any other show. First, the cast was whittled down from ten girls to four. The girls then eventually graduated high school and moved out, shifting the focus of the show to Edna's Edibles. Then Charlotte Rae left, taking Mrs. Garrett with her. George Clooney came and went. They added a troubled teen. And Tootie sprouted a gigantic rack. Nothing mattered. The show kept going and going, until the point when no one but baby sitters and lonely teenagers home on Saturday nights (ahem) knew it was still on the air.

2. Yes, Dear - CBS has tried to kill off this show a number of times by changing its timeslot, holding it off until midseason, and not even telling its creators when it was coming back (at least that what it seemed like). But here it is, still on the schedule in its sixth season, with no signs of stopping. It's one of those shows that's just kinda there; it's amusing sometimes, certainly a cut above some of the other shows of its type, but nothing that set the world on fire.  Which means, of course, that the show will probably go another three or four years, certainly longer than Greg Garcia's other show -- the quirky and hilarious My Name Is Earl -- will more than likely last.

3. JAG - Usually when a show switches networks, it's near the end of its run -- Taxi, Buffy, Diff'rent Strokes -- and trying to squeeze out one more year. But how often does a show get picked up by a network two years into its run and then become a success? Well, ask Donald Bellisario, whose military lawyer drama got canned by NBC after two seasons. After CBS picked it up, it lasted for eight more years, fitting nicely into the Tiffany Network's older-skewing lineup. Again, not a bad show (nothing by the Magnum and Quantum Leap creator ever is), but not exactly buzz-worthy. Maybe Catherine Bell's bikini-clad appearance in FHM helped things along.

4. Wings - This was actually a pretty funny show, but it generally flew under the radar for most of its seven seasons on NBC, ensconced in some favorable timeslots and not burdened with high expectations. It was a bit too similar to its cousin Cheers for many viewers' sakes; many called the show "Cheers In An Airport". But it did do an equally effective job of building its comedy through character development and easy storytelling. Fans of the show rooted for Joe to get together with Helen, laughed at Brian's wisecracks and Lowell's sweet stupidity, and felt bad for lonely cab driver Antonio Scarpacci. It's just that the show didn't have many fans (I was one, though). But, hey, it introuduced America to Monk's Tony Shalhoub and Oscar-nominee Thomas Haden Church from Sideways, so it wasn't all that bad, right?

5. Just Shoot Me! - Seven seasons. David Spade. 'Nuff said.