Saturday Night Live: Dane Cook/James Blunt
So I went out drinking last night. Had too much, don't really remember much of the evening. I got lost coming home and I have the worst hangover ever right now. But it was okay because the entire time I knew I'd wake up this morning and watch last night's SNL with Dane Cook. I heart Dane Cook. He's hilarious, so this is going to be the best episode ever. There is no way that this episode can be bad, right? Wrong.
Rockefeller Tree Re-Lighting - This opened the show and spoofed how politically correct things are getting. In an effort to offend no one and include everyone, Harry Connick Jr. (Jason Sudeikis), Megan Mullally (Kristen Wiig), and Al Roker (Kenan) invited the NBC Peacock Singers to belt out some holiday tunes. Essentially they changed around lyrics of Christmas carols and for the most part it just wasn't funny. Near the end I'm not sure I even understood what they were talking about - anyone else notice how the words got confusing? It had a few funny lines, especially when baby Jesus got dubbed as "random infant, religiously neutral" in their rendition of Silent Night, Holy Night.
Dane's Monologue - If you've never seen Dane Cook perform his stand-up before, then you're missing out. He's absolutely fantastic. If you have, then this was nothing special because it was 90% old material off his two albums "Harmful if Swallowed" and "Retaliation." I was surprised that the censors let his bit about flicking cashews off his wang make the cut. I'm not complaining because it's of his funniest creations and it was a great way to end his set.
West Bedford High School Morning Assembly - Whoever wrote this sketch needs to be dragged down the street and shot. Not only was it far too long but I don't think I laughed once. The high school drama club performed the morning announcements with short plays, interpretive dance, and musical poetry. Dane, Amy Poehler, and Seth Myers were a three man team who ran most of the sketch. The first thing they did was act out some scene about a father who hates his son only to inform us that there was a job fair on Thursday afternoon. See? Even writing about it doesn't make it sound funny.
Taco Town Commercial - Thank god, I love this one. This is probably the second or third time they've played this commercial spoofing Taco Bell and all the ridiculous creations they come up with. It features all three of the new guys (Sudeikis, Samberg, and Hader) eating at this restaurant which sells a taco wrapped in a tortilla, smeared with guacamole, wrapped in a another corn tortilla, filled with scrambled eggs, wrapped in a pizza, wrapped in a blueberry pancake, and then it's all deep fried. I'm probably forgetting some of the ingredients but you get the idea.
The Jay Feely Story - For those of you that missed the NY Giants game last weekend, Jay Feely missed three potential game winning field goals and the Giants ended up losing. This sketch looked at the flight home. Dane played Feely and the rest of the team hates him, but their faith is renewed after the pilot collapses and Feely lands the plane. But then he drives it into a lake so I suppose the team hates him again. Really disappointing, it hurt to watch that. The best part was when it was over and we found out that Alec Baldwin is hosting next week.
The $800 Wool Sweater - This sketch was the saving grace of the show. Dane comes to holiday party wearing a wool turtleneck sweater. The neck is huge but he wears it anyway because he wants to impress a girl. The party's host, played by Seth Myers, informs us that it's 65 degrees right now and he has no idea why Dane chose to wear the sweater. Eventually Dane gets in a fight with it and starts stretching it out with his arms while scratching his back with a fireplace poker. Hilarious to watch, reminded me of old Matt Foley sketches when Dane jumped on the table. Plus he yells out, "It's like a wookie is raping me!" Good stuff.
SNL Digital Short - Andy Samberg is sitting on a doorstep and Will Forte is consoling him. I think maybe someone died or his girlfriend broke up with him, doesn't really matter. So Will is telling him it's going to be okay and the entire time both of them are chomping down on lettuce as if it were an apple. Ends up being a commercial for the lettuce growers of America because lettuce is there for you even when the going gets rough. This could have been a lot funnier, but I did like the idea.
Target Employees - Kristen Wiig and Dane both play Target cashiers ringing up customers. Dane has a mullet and an obsession with Felicia Rashad. He claims he even made a Claire Huxtable snowman once. Kristen keeps admiring the things people are buying and walks away to go find them. I understand that they were trying to say something about the incompetence of many department store cashiers and that it gets even worse for the holidays, but man was this bad.
Weekend Update - As usual this was pretty good. I enjoyed Tina'a reference to the George Harrison hit "I've Got My Mind Set on You" when she talked about Bush and the Iraq plan because "it's gonna take time, to do it, to do it, to do it..." You get the idea. Rachel Dratch dressed up in a fat suit for one pre-recorded bit and it was hilarious because they completely exploited the stereotype that black men love big booty. I really liked the report on the tower in Buenos Aires being covered with a giant pink condom for world AIDS Day and to match it, the US covered the Grand Canyon in a giant dental dam.
Coma for a Day - What if you were in a coma for a day? Dane Cook was after he broke his toe. When he wakes up, his wife has left him, remarried, sold his car, and she broke all his records. A lot can happen in 24 hours. They even had a funeral for him. And it turns out the coma was medically induced because Dane had been harassing the nurses and the doctor didn't like that. Dane tries to attack his ex-wife's new husband and he falls over. When he wakes back up 15 minutes later, his ex-wife announces she's pregnant with the doctor's baby. This was an amusing premise but it just didn't come off too well.
Fight Back with Victor Ramos - This was the episode's token "fake talk show on a cable access network." Dane and Horatio play martial arts experts who worry about the safety of NYC so they interview Amy Poehler who I believe worked for the subway. For once Horatio didn't break character and start laughing in the middle of the sketch because this was by far the unfunniest thing ever. I wanted to stick knitting needles in my eyes.
Musical Guest James Blunt - He played two songs, but he's kind of whiny. Reminded me of Jason Mraz crossed with Jack Johnson. Am I the only one who's never heard of him though? With a name like James Blunt I really thought he was a new up and coming rapper before I saw him.
Overall, I'll give the episode a four out of ten. There was just way too much garbage which is terrible because Dane Cook had a lot more to offer I think. Hopefully Alec Baldwin will be better next week because whenever he hosts, the episode is usually an instant classic.