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October 13, 2015

On the 10th day of Festivus, TV gave to me

by Anna Johns, posted Dec 7th 2005 10:03AM
tom cruise....Ten best one-liners:

10. "Dad! Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!" - Stan, when Tom Cruise locked himself in his bedroom closet, on South Park.

9. "My maternal grandfather is the toughest man I know. In World War Two, he killed twenty men and then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp." - Dwight, on The Office, before fighting his boss, Michael Scott.

8. "His eyes say 'I'm innocent,' his mouth says 'I'm not guilty,' and his hair says 'what can I do to put you in this LeSabre today?" - -Jon Stewart, on Tom Delay, on The Late Show With David Letterman.

7. "We the jury find the defendent...creepy." - David Letterman ("Top 10 Things Overheard At The Michael Jackson Trial").

6. "Alright, check this out. This is track two. It's called "Monster Eats The Pilot.'" - Charlie, performing his new song, on Lost.

5. Peter: Everybody, I got bad news. We've been cancelled.

Lois: Oh no. Peter, how could they do that?

Peter: Well unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the
schedule. We've just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for
terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's
Show, Wonderfalls, Fastlane, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Skin,
Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freakylinks, Wanda
At Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute With Stan Hooper, Normal,
Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddie, The $treet, American Embassy,
Cedric The Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, and Greg The Bunny.

Lois: Is there no hope?

Peter: Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes, we might
have a shot. - The Family Guy.

4. "I got an idea for what you can do. You can f---ing fire your complete marketing team, alright? Get a new one in that knows how to market a show that won five mother-f---ing Emmys, Golden Globes, SAG awards, WAGA awards, DGA awards, Producers Guild awards, critics' top ten lists. If you can't market that kind of show and get better ratings, then maybe the problem doesn't lie here. Maybe it lies with marketing. Goodnight." David Cross, ranting about FOX's lack of faith in his critcally-acclaimed show, during a short segment on the Arrested Development, Season 2 DVD.

3. "You don't know the history of psychiatry.  I do." - Tom Cruise, talking to Matt Lauer about Brooke Shields' post-partum depression, on Today.

2. "George Bush doesn't care about black people." - Kanye West, going off-script during the NBC benefit for Hurricane Katrina victims.

1. "Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job." - President Bush, congratulating FEMA Director Michael Brown on his handling of Hurricane Katrina.

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Jason Anderson

Off topic. Also, I agree with #4. Why do people even sell their show ideas to Fox anymore? Now-a-days it always means "Cancelled within 2 seasons no matter what."

December 08 2005 at 1:13 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Jason -- Sorry, you'll have to put up with ALL of us, not just Anna. :) Everyone else -- Please use the contact form if you need to report a complaint, and I'll see what I can do for you. Thanks!

December 07 2005 at 12:05 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I believe Robin isn't asking where did they go, but what happened to them. Within the last few days, you are no longer able to read more than a line or two in an RSS reader, whereas the whole post (and picture) would show up. Now you get the line or two plus a link to the page. It's not as fun to read anymore.

December 07 2005 at 11:53 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jason Ruby

I really want Author Feeds!! but here is a link for ya Robin. http://www.tvsquad.com/feeds/

December 07 2005 at 11:48 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Robin, It's in the middle column underneath the list of shows and resources under the title "RSS NEWSFEEDS".

December 07 2005 at 11:21 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Brady Simmons

As funny as I thought it was, Peter's quote isn't really a one-liner.

December 07 2005 at 10:18 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

What happened to the RSS feeds?? TV Squad is the only Weblogs Inc blog to not publish everything through RSS, and it's getting annoying.

December 07 2005 at 10:11 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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