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September 2, 2015

On the 9th day of Festivus, TV gave to me

by Jonathan Toomey, posted Dec 8th 2005 10:48AM
TV Squad Festivus Logo...Nine Stupid Storylines.

May the joy of Festivus be with all of you and the airing of grievances continue long into the night. Now let's be honest, there are a lot of great - heck, amazing - shows on TV right now. But how much does it suck when you love how a show is going and then the writers introduce some incredibly stupid storyline that either makes no sense or does nothing to advance the plot? In the immortal words of George Carlin, let's get right to the complaining with a series of things that are pissing me off.

Ellis Grey's Affair with Dr. Webber on Grey's Anatomy - What good did this do besides remind us that Ellis is a crazy old kook with Alzheimer's? Sure we now know that even though Webber is dedicated to the hospital, apparently he wasn't to his wife. But it was a long time ago and I saw no need for this. All this does is set up an episode for Meredith to find out (which she will), pout all day long, and get drunk at Joe's after work. Wait... that sounds like every episode lately.

Killing off Caleb Nichol on The OC - Why in the world would you erase one of the most complex villains on TV, especially since everyone loved to hate him? Julie was so much more fun when she had a mansion and money at her disposal. Her storyline is the worst one going in that show right now and it's all because Caleb died. Making him a full cast member for season two was great, but he needs to come back to life. I don't know, give me a zombie or RoboCop him. Although, those sound like pretty stupid storylines...

Anne Heche and her stint on Nip/Tuck - For those that missed her three episode arc, Ms. Heche played the widow of a murdered gangster who was heading into witness protection. Sean performed the surgery for her face alteration and later had a brief fling with her. I found this to be so disposable though. It was as if the writer's couldn't figure out how to weave Sean into the main storyline, so they dumped this on him until it could all be connected again.

The potential Warrick/Catherine romance on CSI - They've been hinting at this for a while now. I first remember seeing glimpses of it from the episode last season in which the two of them had to go searching for a body in some sewer pipes. They ended up hugging and staring longingly at each other but that was it. Then in between seasons, Warrick got married. But Catherine still brought up "what may have been" earlier this season. Let it die, the whole Sara wanting Grissom thing was weird enough.

E-Ring - This may be premature, but can a whole show count as a stupid storyline? I've watched every episode thus far, and I may even start covering it weekly now that it's been given a full season, but right now it's tough to watch. Such great actors with such poor storylines. And am I the only one who's having a hard time buying Benjamin Bratt playing a guy of Polish descent?

The Mandy Moore romance on Entourage - I love this show, but when Vince started hooking up with Mandy it was downhill for the end of the second season. Part of the reason this show works was it's portrayal of a pack of real men's men who didn't need woman to make their day go by. Giving Vince the serious love interest killed all that and made him seem more real and less stereotypical Hollywood action star - which is what won us all over in the first season.

Dim having an affair with Mrs. B on Over*There - I understand why this happened. I realize Dim's wife was a crazy, sex-addicted alcoholic and that Mrs. B was having trouble back home with her sick son, but this affair sent the Mrs. B storyline in an entirely different direction. It grounded her and made her want to be a better person, whereas before she was ditching the Army and traveling cross country to Hollywood. It took the wild-child out of her and it think it would have been better to develop that side of her instead.

Swearengen's Penis Infection on Deadwood - Who's the best character on this show? Who has the best dialogue on this show? Who's integral to all the good storylines on this show? So why give him an infection that incapacitates him for over three episodes? He wasn't talking or doing anything. If anything it made him seem more human, but he isn't human. Swearengen is a god in that camp - without him things don't click.

Killing Michael Vaughn on Alias - Let me rephrase that: killing Michael Vaughn so soon on Alias. I'm all for killing him off, it spiced things up and I think Agent Tom Grace makes a fine replacement. What I do wish is that they had kept Vaughn around for maybe four or five episodes before they killed him off. It would have been great to see Vaughn and Renee interact or have Vaughn around when some more of the info on Prophet Five came out. Then they could have killed him after he helped develop the storyline that his character is apparently very integral to.

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Yes you are the only one having trouble believing JT is half Polish considering Bratt is half German. :)

December 09 2005 at 6:13 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Idil Abdi

Killing Vaughn was a mistake and Tom Grace replacing Voughn it is ridiculous. No one can replace Voughn, he is the best!!

December 09 2005 at 12:43 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Is there a storyline on Las Vegas that *wouldn't* make this list?

December 09 2005 at 8:21 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Monica buys the casino on Las Vegas. That story nearly killed the show for me. A combination of a poorly conceived character, bad writing, and a horrible performance by a kind of creepy looking Lara Flynn Boyle. I think the powers that be at Las Vegas realized just how bad this storyline was, and that is what led to Monica being killed off so soon. Too bad that the killing of Monica was also so freaking hokey that it could be on this list as well.

December 08 2005 at 12:17 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Chris Wyant

How about Dr. Cameron's (I think that's her name) methed out ho-baggery on House after being AIDS-coughed on? Will they actually pursue that?

December 08 2005 at 12:04 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I have always hated Grissom/Sara on CSI. It was such a creepy and ridiculous storyline (gorgeous woman who pines and pouts over father figure in her life who prefers bugs to people). It seems it will never die though. And the Warrick/Catherine thing was just subtle enough to make regular viewers who aren't obsessed wonder where the hell the angst came from. Dumb dumb dumb

December 08 2005 at 11:22 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

After last nights episode of Veronica Mars I would like to add the destroying of the sex tapes storyline to the list. Why would Leo steal ALL of the tapes? It makes even less scence then Logan destroying the tapes that Veronica almost died for. If they wanted to get rid of the tapes I would of been much happer if a bad random cop did it and Aaron was behind it.

December 08 2005 at 11:06 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I'd substitute Grissom's hearing loss and Sara's alcoholism for the Warrick and Catherine storyline. Grissom hasn't been able to reconnect with people since the hearing loss thing, and it was totally unnecessary to boot. I haven't watched regularly since then. And the "suddenly alcoholic" thing--stupid TV cliche.

December 08 2005 at 11:01 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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