Oprah Winfrey and the Bird of Destiny

Gather round children for a tale of holiday folly. Yesterday afternoon, our beloved Oprah and her boyfriend Stedman Graham (I'd pay money to have that name...) decided to fly to one of her extremely expensive private mansions/ islands/planets. However, their craft of choice ran into a problem after the plane took-off. It seems a tiny bird flew into the plane's windshield and the pilot made the game-time decision of grounding the plane because a crack formed in the glass. A fire department spokesman said this actually happens quite frequently. Now this is just me, but if I ever happen to one day accumulate more money than God, I too will buy a private jet. Or eight. But I'm also going to make sure that those things have windshields solid enough to plow through a flock of eagles and not take a dent.