The Five: Reasons I shouldn't watch American Idol

by Anna Johns, posted Jan 16th 2006 8:02AM
aiI have a love-hate relationship with American Idol. I would say that, for about two-thirds of each season, I wince and roll my eyes and fast-forward my TiVo through all sorts of crap. But, I also feel like I have an investment in some of the singers who are about to fall on their faces or propel themselves from obscurity to unimaginable stardom. Plus, I usually like hearing what Simon has to say.

With another season of American Idol set to start tomorrow night, I am on the fence about whether I will watch this season. Here are the reasons why I shouldn't watch:
5. Product placement  American Idol is one of the worst offenders on television when it comes to product placement. Everything is Coca-Cola and the poor contestants are forced to do stupid little sketches to promote all the other crap that American Idol is partnered with. Practically every word and every movement on that show is paid for. It's vomit-enducing.

4. Theme nights  I would have to say that American Idol reached a new all-time low last year when it presented Disco Night. As far as I can remember, not one of those performers pulled it off. They were voted through to the next round based entirely on their popularity. There are so many song writers out there and so many genres of music, do they really have to redo crap?

3. Most of the singers suck  Let's face it. It's usually only the top 2 or 3 performers who are actually good. When American Idol gets to the Top 12 contestants, I tend to tune out for a few weeks until the poor singers are weeded out.

2. The Results Show  I never watch this thing. Lucky for me, I live on the west coast, so I can just log onto the internet to find out who got booted off. I can't stand this show because it's cruel... to the contestants and to the audience. These poor kids are thrust on stage, in the spotlight, in front of a crowd and made to think they are going to be voted off. We review the judges' remarks and wait in agony for 30 and sometimes 60 minutes to find out who's going home. And what happens when we find out? The poor loser has to stand up and sing the crappy song that got them kicked off the show in the first place.

1. Ryan Seacrest  News flash: American Idol is not about Ryan Seacrest. I know it may come as a surprise to him, but it really is a show to find undiscovered talent in America. I liked Seacrest during the first season, when he was way better than Dunkelman, or whatever his name was. Even during the second season, he seemed to actually care about the emotional well-being of the contestants. But, then Ryan bought into the hype. He started hocking all sorts of products on behalf of American Idol, bought himself a star, and ended each show with the stupidest sign-off line ever, "Seacrest Out."

*Stay tuned: tomorrow I'll list the reasons why I'll probably end up watching American Idol anyway.

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Jessica Johns

anna, you know you have to watch it. it's like the scene of a car accident, you try not to look but you just can't help yourself!

January 16 2006 at 7:12 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I was amazed that Rockstar INXS did so poorly, for many of the reasons listed. They had far, far better songs to choose from -- Aerosmith, Queen and the Rolling Stones, for goodness sakes -- and no theme nights. And even if all the singers weren't great, they all brought enough variety to the stage so that you could have your favorites. No product placement. And as for annoying hosts, the worst you ever got was Brooke Burke in a skimpy outfit.

The results show "torture" was even nicer. Classic moment from an early show:

"JD, do you know why we called you back out on stage?"

"I assume because I'm the one that got the lowest number of votes?"

"Actually we have no idea about that. We just liked your song last night so much we want you to do it again."

JD, of course, went on to win the whole thing.

January 16 2006 at 8:30 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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