'Grey's' Isn't Going Anywhere
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The OC: Kaitlan Returns
Tonight was the triumphant return
of Kaitlan, Marissa's once invisible sister turned jailbait sister. Awww, the magic of TV speed-aging. When last we saw
Kaitlan, she was wearing pink sweatsuits, and complaining about not getting to ride her hairless pony enough. All the
while, her older sis was overdosing in Tijuana, and almost being raped by her boyfriend's brother. Yup, it's about time
for Kaitlan's return.
I must say, I was impressed. I always thought of the Kaitlan role as being poorly planned. Why did the Coopers ever need a little girl anyway? They had crazy-ass Marissa OD-ing on the weekends, the "Dad" ripping off everyone in Newport, and the "Mom" seducing and destroying everyone in sight. The younger sister seemed like a wasted use of the make-up and wardrobe trailer. But I didn't know that Kaitlan was going to go away for two years and get all hot. Hot...and apparently manipulative. They explain it on the show by saying that Marissa was always closer to Jimmy (the nice, but misguided Dad) and Kaitlan was always closer to Julie (well...you know how Julie is). And thus, enter Kaitlan....newly sexy and ready to cause trouble in Newport. Welcome to the OC, bitch.
Kaitlan's arrival into Newport is closely followed by Justin, a wayward, yet attractive youth who just wants to find the girl. Kaitlan tells Ryan that Justin is just a sad boy who is obsessed with her beauty. But actually, Justin and Kaitlan have been dating for a whole month, and he felt so committed that he took her to his brother's fraternity mixer, where she swipe $1,500-worth of cover charges and fled for the OC. Justin and his brother's frat buddies wanted their money back. But when Ryan confronted Kaitlan about the sordid mess, she spun an amazing tale of abortion woes that I was even impressed by. This girl needs to be doing improv theater.
Meanwhile, in Julie Cooper Needs to Get Laid Land, her latest conquest (Summer's dad) found himself on a blind date with Taylor Townsend's mom. I don't remember her name, but it doesn't matter, because she's just a secondary player. Taylor's mom managed to seduce Summer's dad at his weakest of moments and finagled a second date. But The OC kids were not having it. No way was Summer going to have Taylor as a sister, and Kirsten did not fully understand Julie's intimate feelings for Summer's dad. (What IS his name? Neil?) Seth decided to pull Taylor aside and tell her that Summer's dad had crabs to get her mom to hit the hills, and only in television does that work. Because it worked.
Finally, Kaitlan dug her claws into Marissa's throw-away man, Johnny, and showed him how wild and amazingly "spontaneous" she was by stripping down to her underwear and jumping in the ocean. Oh wow, she's one of those girls who likes to constantly show boys how incredibly crazy and creative she is by jumping in the ocean. Wow...crazy....and...creative. Dude, Marissa OD'ed in Tijuana. But still, I like Kaitlan and what she will add to the show. I'll just warn you in the very same Keanu-esque way that Justin warned Ryan: "Dude, be careful...she's.......like amazing."
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