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October 13, 2015

Desperate Housewives: There's Something About a War

by Sarah Gilbert, posted Jan 23rd 2006 8:22AM

the applewhites become lovable"I'm so over rice."

Finally! It's another episode full of those zingy one-liners I so longed for, sympathetic characterization, and what's even better: fantastic hair. My sister and baby-sitter were over for dinner and, as we shoveled in cassoulet, the whole living room was cracking up when Bree caught Danielle having a little tryst with the Applewhite hottie. "Danielle, question: is there a black man hiding under your bed?"

There were plenty of reasons to crack up tonight, and that's why we love the Housewives.

Also: I love it when my favorite ladies look this good. And tonight? Hot. Very hot. It seems as if every last one of them has been through a high-class version of makeover day on America's Next Top Model. Teri Hatcher somehow managed to look slim but not gaunt, and not a day over 34. Bree looked right off the red carpet with her fabulous body-full poufy 'do. Gabi must have gotten a lovely black rinse, she looked stunning and, for once, not totally slutty.

Lynette was also looking hot today - I can honestly say the deep blue tweedy number, with the ribbon waist and the A-line, is one of the best suits I have ever seen, anywhere. But wasn't she supposed to be on this super budget, not buying any new clothes? Right, just tell me that suit didn't cost $2500! If not, I'll be heading to the nearest Saks and picking one up. Can y'all hold a size 6 for me please?

Besides the clothes, we finally have our sympathetic Lynette back. For a few moments she was actually being sweet to Tom. She listened to his ideas, she used some of them, and she wasn't completely sarcastic or dismissing of him as a human being. At first. Then, she was, a little. She didn't want to share the glory with him. And what's more: she couldn't even conceive of the idea of working with him.

You knew it would happen, and hey, so did I. (I've LIVED this plotline, so I already know it's not going to go quite the way TV writes it, but oh well.) Tom, he'll get hired by the boss, who of course would love him. And Lynette will be a little bit - or a lot - peeved. But I didn't really call the nice reconciliation - tearful, sweet, and yes, sympathetic. Yay! Is my lovable Lynette back? I hope so.

On the other hand, when it comes to the "hot nun" - grrrr.

I have to say, though I've never been a huge fan of the Catholic church - I'm not one for getting my rules & regulations of daily living from a tiny old man several thousand miles away - I hate the (what would you call it? blasphemous? yeah, that) characterization of Sister Mary Bernard. Could she be more conniving? Is it possible for her to less of What Jesus Would Do? (or maybe in this case, What the Virgin Mary Would Do?) Sister Mary Bernard is way more controversial, in my eyes, than The Book of Daniel. That: a droll depiction of a "real" priest who is - shocking! - not perfect. This: a depiction of a highly sinful woman "of God." We all know that nuns just don't act like that. And no, this is not supposed to be believable - it's TV - but I'd rather have it be marginally respectable.

And whaddya know? It seems as if the Applewhite family has finally picked itself up from the ashes of mediocrity and become hip with the rest of the good storylines. Yay, Alfre! (and boo to your son, who didn't even keep Danielle's trust. I didn't think any better of you, but poor Danielle.) You know that a character has gone from sideshow to real deal when she takes a seat at the weekly poker night.

Lastly, one more good line for the night:

Sister Mary Bernard: "The problems in your marriage aren't going away."

Gabrielle: "Maybe not. But you certainly are." (a predictable line: but still funny)

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I think desperate housewives is such a good show. And I just love that there is always a hot guy for me look at :) I found this article:


February 01 2006 at 8:18 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
edy lou

so sorry last night Jan 29th was a repeat...I get so upset when my anticipation is dashed to shreds..as I love the show and look forward to new material....please keep it coming,,write! write! write!

January 30 2006 at 9:31 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Somebody give me a quick rundown. I didn't watch DH regularly last year, but I caught it sometimes. This year I've been tivo-ing it and watch it semi-regularly. When I watch it this season, I don't see much difference from last season. But the airwaves and the net are full of "DH has fallen off so much from the first year." What gives? What is the real fans explanation? Thanks.

January 28 2006 at 7:13 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Ashley Boyd

Well it seems like the finale (or the last few eps anyway) will see Bree's and Betty's dirty laundry being aired to the whole of Wisteria Lane. Wonder which one will come out tops though... could get interesting.

January 25 2006 at 2:43 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

This was a great episode. Loved the catfight between the nun and Gabrielle. I'm not sure why you call her a "hot nun," I think she's rather unattractive. Too horse-faced for me.

The best part of the evening was the confrontation between Bree and Betty. Those two are headed for a knock-down, drag-out and my bets are on Bree. She just let a man die in front of her eyes, so Betty should watch her back. Great to see the Applewhites comes front and center for a change. Woodard has been so under-used this season. If she can go toe-to-toe with Bree and the gang I hope they can find a way to keep her around next season. Otherwise, let the whole family go.

January 23 2006 at 2:09 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Danielle told about Bree and her brother's involvement in the accident so that Betty COULD use it against Bree...she didn't want the Applewhite's to move. It's not surprising though because Bree's kids really hate her.
I love Bree !! Can't wait to see this battle played out between her and Betty.

January 23 2006 at 12:52 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Good to see that the Applewhites will stick around, but Bree's not having it [being handled, that is]. This is gonna get good.

January 23 2006 at 9:46 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Poor Danielle? No way - she totally sold her mom and brother out for some guy. And I hope he has the sense to realize a girl like that can't be trusted. It did, however, make for some fantastic viewing last night.

January 23 2006 at 9:23 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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