The Daily Show: February 8, 2006

Photographs were recently taken of Britney Spears driving around with her baby boy on her lap. Scandal! Shock! Horror! Jon didn't see any problem with this because he drives with similar habits (he occasionally has the baby clinging to his head while driving and, when he has more than one baby, he juggles them).

Apparently it wasn't just Brit having a bad day because Bush wasn't having much fun either. He attended the Coretta Scott King funeral.Bad idea. I mean, 99% of the people in that room didn't vote for him/can't stand him. No wonder the funeral quickly turned into a Bush-bashing ceremony. There were plenty of WMD and wire-tapping jabs. I'm sure King would have appreciated this sort of horrible behavior at her funeral. Oh, and a big "LOL" for Jon's awkward raising of the roof and "Holla..."

"NSA Today": Alberto Gonzalez was totally grilled as well, but at a separate event. He went to the Senate Judiciary Committee hearings about Bush's wiretapping deal and refused to testify under oath. Not only that, but he refused to answer many questions, frustrating many of the Senators (Patrick Leahy even shot back, "I'm sorry, Attorney General, I forgot you can't answer any questions that might be relevant to this"). This hearing proved more frustrating than enlightening.

"Klassic Kolbert": Rerunning old Stephen Colbert segments can mean only one of two things... 1) They really miss Stephen or 2) a lot of the new correspondents really aren't cutting it (cough-Bakkedahl-Jones-cough). Anyway, they re-ran Stephen's old segment about the civil rights movement (and by civil rights, they mean "smokers' rights"). This was the segment that birthed the classic TDS quote...

Stephen: "Why can't people smoke where they want?"
Expert: "Why can't people masturbate where they want?"
Stephen: "... I ask myself that everyday."

The night's guest was a young newcomer by the name of Harrison Ford. He was a pretty funny guest, joking around just as much Jon was. There a few awkward silences, but he's Harrison effin' Ford so he can have as many awkward silences as he wants. Ford talked about how crap he is with computers (despite being a new movie all about computers, Firewall). Then, he talked about how awesome he is (he has people do stuff for him... like shop online and watch porn... It's amazing!). Ahh, funny man.

Jon checked in with Stephen Colbert, who asked about the possibility of seeing any money from the "Klassic Kolbert" segment. He then proceeded to call Harrison Ford a sexy man (but, y'know, not in a gay way). Moment of Zen: Mr. Gonzalez, you've just been bitch-slapped by Leahy.