The Daily Show: February 15, 2006

Clearly, The Daily Show has had an absolute field day with the fact that Cheney shot a 78 year-old man in the face... They loved this news enough to stretch it over another episode. Quite frankly, I was amazed. If they talk about it again on Thursday, that'll make an entire week of Daily Show programming about the incident. Who can blame them for eating the news up? I mean, dude, Cheney shot a 78 year-old man in the face. I don't think I need to repeat it again. Anyway, Cheney agreed to a no-holds-bar grilling public press conference about the incident -- okay, not really. He opted for an interview on FOX News (oh, whoop-de-doo), in which he lightly touched on the inner details and also stressed the importance of accuracy because... next time, he will kill Henry Whittington.

Senior White House Correspondent Jason Jones then joined in to report more of Cheney's recent "accidents" (did you know he once accidentally killed a golden retriever puppy with a shovel?). The crowd usually goes absolutely wild when Ed Helms or Rob Corddry do some correspondent work... The applause was remarkably scattered with Jones. His wife is Samantha Bee, so why doesn't he ask her for some TDS tips? He's really not fitting in as well as he could.

"Cane Mutiny": Everyone's favorite game? The Blame Game, of course! The chaos from Katrina still looms drearily, as show by a new 520-page report called Failure of Initiative (only because Our Government is Hopelessly Broken couldn't fit on the cover in that font size). In summary, the report states that absolutely everyone is to blame. Former FEMA-man Michael "Brownie" Brown had to defend himself in front of people again and only came off as a whiny jerk. He said that he felt "somewhat abandoned". But, y'know, not the "stranded on a roof for four days waiting for someone to rescue you" -abandoned.

Demetri Martin then joined in with another installment of "Trendspotting" (treeeends!). This time, he reported on the epidemic sweeping America's youth: MySpace.com.  Out of "candy", "promiscuous sex", "broccoli", and "online networking", "online networking" came in second as teens' favorite things. There's been loads of places (other than MySpace) to meet people online, like Facebook and Friendster (but that "got kind of gay"). Demetri filled us in on the inner-workings of MySpace kids (how some will type in 100 as their age because they're not old enough for a real account) and also consulted an old person about how online working changes social behavior ("I hope he uses the word 'paradox'," Demetri thought when he sat down with the expert... he got his wish).

The old person claimed that lack of face-to-face contact is making it harder for people to communicate properly. Demetri, however, begs to differ because he has 9000 friends on MySpace (actually, the last time I checked his profile, he had a lot more) and according to his mom, an expert on Demetri, and his grandmother, an expert on Demetri's mom, both claim that he is a very popular boy. He made a lot of funny jokes about MySpace (some of which I think you need to be a member to fully understand... like the "Top 8" thing) and emo rock (a very popular form of music that most MySpace kids like... Known to me as "noise that makes my ears bleed with sorrow"). He ended by noting that the down-side of MySpace is that it's loaded with sexual predators... and on the plus-side, it's also loaded with sexual prey.

The night's guest was Julianne Moore, star of the upcoming film Freedomland (opens Friday). The clip they showed was absolutely haunting and I truly applaud them for picking a clip that actually made me want to see the film. Usually, they throw in a meaningless clip just to say, "This is the guest... We're just proving to you that she's really in the film". Jon looked truly captivated and I could feel the audience holding its breath... It was pretty cool. Anyway, Moore had a little chat with Jon about technology and how they couldn't really keep up. They then spoke a little about the craft of acting (Moore actually applies herself, whereas Jon is just reading phoenetically and pretending to be himself but 10% happier).

Moment of Zen: The biggest question from FOX News regarding the Whittington accident... Did Cheney miss the bird?! Well, Mr. Vice President? "I have no idea..."