The Daily Show: March 7, 2006

Jon's back on from his Oscars gig. Oh, Jon, how we've missed thee. After putting down his Hollywood sunglasses, cellphone, and Blackberry, Jon talked about the mixed reviews over his performance ("I sucked... and was great!"). He's usually pretty hard on himself (I remember him uttering, "I am a loser" after one of his jokes during the Oscars) so it was good to hear that Jon said that he had a great time. Audience may or may not have enjoyed his performance as host... it all depended on which cutaways you saw (Jamie Foxx laughed it up, Joaquin Phoenix offered nothing but cold stares). Well, for what it's worth, I thought Jon did a fantastic job with what he had. I really loved the "attack ads" that Stephen Colbert voiced. Jon even showed another attack ad that they pulled at the last minute about monkeys in the biz, out of fear of an uprising resulting in a Planet of the Apes world. It's practical thinking.

"The Day Before Tomorrow": As if we needed more proof that the government really fouled up when Katrina hit, The Associated Press got their hands on videos of Bush being briefed on the weakness of the levees against the storm. These briefings happened before Katrina hit, finally proving that Bush lied about not having prior knowledge of the possibility of fallen levees. Well, in his defense, he wasn't paying attention at the briefing.

Jon paused for a moment to try and take a nap on his desk. Aww, he's so tired from the Oscars... and the post-Oscars coverage and the post-post-Oscars coverage and the "Jon really sucked it hard as host" coverage. "Nobody should be up 72 hours straight unless they're helping children... which I wasn't".

"Hope Floats": Mardi Gras went on, despite a still recovering New Orleans. Boobies and beads will never die! Ray Nagin was super-excited and hopped onto a float dressed as what looked like a former member of Public Enemy (not Flavor Flav... the military guy). Carnival also spread the craziness, celebrating overindulgence one last time before Lent, "when Haitians are expected to give up... uh..." having snakes placed on their faces. Or something.

Dan Bakkedahl filed a report about the need to put up a fence around a women's correctional facility in Minnesota. They brought back that crackpot "security expert" Bo Dietl to talk about it... I learned a lot of new security terminology... like "dildo-ized". It was then that I realized that my public education has limited my vocabulary greatly... I will now try to use the word "lesbionics" in everyday conversation. Thank you, Mr. Dietl. Oh, and I liked Dan's doodle of a "super-hedge" (a proposed compromise between the people who want a proper fence and the people who like the prickly little hedge currently surrounding the facility), complete with a minotaur and a three-headed serpent. It's like I was looking straight into King Minos' sketchbook!

The night's guest was Eugene Linden, author of The Winds of Change : Climate, Weather, and the Destruction of Civilizations. Linden and Jon had a discussion about how the earth is responding to the activities of humans. Nothing too new if you know anything about the environment. When Jon finally finished the interview, he mentioned the book one more time but accidentally said "the movie". I don't think he even caught himself... Clearly, the poor man still has the Oscars on his mind.

Jon checked in with Stephen Colbert, who totally neglected to realize that it was Jon that hosted the Oscars ("I thought it was the guy from Ed!"). Moment of Zen: It's Carnival in Rio! And there's a shiny Death Star float... um, or maybe that's a glittery Big Brother...