American Idol: Taylor becomes a windmill

I'm glad that Paula decided to cover up her enormous cleavage tonight with a gargantuan fake flower. I'm normally a fan of big cleavage, but I don't like anything distracting me from Ace's pretty face or Taylor's super rad dance moves. My only question is whether or not that fake flower shoots out water? In Paula's case, it's probably vodka. Now, that would be cool!

So, let's get right to the best performance of the night... 

Taylor Hicks- He finally brought what we were looking for. The awkward dance moves are back! I loved everything about Taylor tonight. I really did. From the bunny costume during the pre-interview to his sick dance moves. This is the Taylor we all love. I actually think that the windmill motion he was making with his right arm looked a lot like he was turning a jump rope. At times, he was going so fast, it looked like he was turning a jump rope for eight little girls doing double dutch. I freaking loved it. It was a blast.

Gedeon- I had trouble hearing Gedeon when he first started singing. Mostly because I was still laughing from the pre-interview. Did you see that painting?! Ha ha ha ha. I seriously can't stress that enough. Ha ha ha ha ha. He painted a record with the world on it. And why? Because "the sound of music makes the world go round." That's deep, Gedeon. That's like all metaphorical and stuff. It was ridiculous. And, did he paint it on the back of a picture frame? That's what it looked like. Actually, Gedeon did a really great job tonight. He sounded pretty good. I just couldn't get past that pre-interview.

Kevin Covais- Somebody just take this kid off the show. Does somebody out therereally like him? I don't even think grandmas are attracted to him. It's all a huge farce and it's really ticking me off. Somebody more deserving should be where he is right now. When he started with the lyrics, "starry, starry niiiiight," I just rolled my eyes and walked out of the room. I just don't get it. And I'm seriously worried that I might get sucked into his giant nostrils while watching him perform. Do you see how big those things are? Forget Paula's cleavage, I think he needs two giant flowers to cover those things up.

Chris Daughtry- Chris with hair is a pretty funny sight. He didn't look half bad, but a bald Chris? Yummy. The judges weren't really feeling him tonight, but I was. When he sings, it looks like he feels it with every ounce of his body, and I can feel it with every ounce of mine. For almost two whole minutes, I fell deeply in love with that big bald head of his. I just like how manly he sounds and looks. When he shook Ryan's hand during the post-interview, I thought he was going to snap his wrist. He just seems like a real man. Chris is the anti-Kevin.

Will Makar- I think his time is up. Case closed.

Bucky- Just when you thought one Bucky was enough, it turns out...there's another one. And I'm so happy that his twin brother is named Rocky. Bucky and Rocky. I love it. It's very Cartoon Express, USA Network circa 1987. I didn't think that Bucky had his best night, and I think he's skating on thin ice. His voice just isn't country enough and it's not rock enough, and he's not that good looking. So I think Bucky might have to go soon. I'm still undecided as to who will go first -- Kevin Covais or the Buck?

Elliott Yamin- This was not Elliott's finest performance. I totally agree with Simon when he said that Elliott looked disconnected tonight. I felt it too. But I'm still confident that Elliott will make it to the top five. I was absolutely shocked that he is virtually deaf in one ear. You would never be able to tell from hearing him sing. It sort of makes all the "I'm sick" excuses from other contestants during Hollywood week seem sort-of lame.

Ace Young- Did you see that he had an ace on his shirt tonight? Get it? Because his name is Ace? Genius. Marketing genius. Not really. I actually really liked Ace tonight. He missed a few notes here and there, but I thought it was a gutsy performance and he did what Ace does best -- he made it sexy. Only one problem, a beautiful man like that should never be covered up by an ugly beanie. Not unless he's delivering mail in a snowstorm. And even then, I'd prefer Ace hatless.

My picks for elimination: Will Makar (definitely) and Kevin Covais or Bucky (don't care which)

My winner: Taylor Hicks 

Tomorrow night -- The Top 12 are chosen and Bo Bice performs (Yippee!)