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December 20, 2014

Subtle Subtitles

by Keith McDuffee, posted Mar 17th 2006 12:21PM
Last week's winners:

1 star to Brent: "What do you mean by "Auntie is Hitler just dressed as an 80 year old woman?" "
2 stars to LC: "Oh nonsense Honey, the guests will know I was going for the Charlie Chaplin look."
3 stars to Nic: "Most Awkward Bar Mitzvah ever..."

This week, a tragic scene from the latest episode of 24:

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Chris Wyant

And so, CTU was shut down, the building ventilation halted, and 50 people died... All because Rudy McGamgee and Red Sharted at the same time. It was an inside job, an inside ass job.

March 23 2006 at 7:43 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
orimental

"Dude, I'm sorry!"

"See? This is what happens when you wolf down a crunchy all beef taco smothered in nacho cheese, lettuce, tomato, and special Southwestern sauce; wrapped in a soft flour tortilla with a layer of re-fried beans in between; wrapped in a savory corn tortilla with a middle layer of Monterrey jack cheese; wrapped in a deep fried gordita shell smeared with a layer of special 'guacomolito' sauce; wrapped in a corn husk filled with pico de gallo; wrapped in an authentic Parisian crepe filled with egg, gruyere, sausage and portobello mushrooms; wrapped in a Chicago-style, deep-dish, meat lover's pizza; rolled up in a blueberry pancake; dipped in batter and deep fried until it's golden brown; and served in a commemorative tote bag filled with spicy vegetarian chili without your Beano!"

March 20 2006 at 7:15 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Elliott

I see I'm not the only one at this costume party that came as Michael Jackson.

March 20 2006 at 10:29 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Chris Ryan

Guard: "So all we have to do is hold our breath and the nerve gas won't affect us?"

Lynn: "It worked for Jack didn't it?"

March 19 2006 at 9:22 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
P. G. Sample, III (Krwlngindarkness)

Girl on Phone: Daddy.....
Red Shirt: Hunny I have to go.... I think Mr. Gamgee just sharted

March 18 2006 at 8:51 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Zod

...sadly, the CTU human beatboxing competition ended when the final two contestants mysteriously keeled over, started spasming, and started drooling over themselves. Even sadder was that most of the American public had already seen these moves performed by Lil' Jon in his platinum selling music video "GIT CRRRRRIIZZZUNNK ON THA CENTOX!!!!" therefore causing them to vote the disturbing CTU video to the top of the charts on the equally disturbing TV show Total Request Live

March 17 2006 at 11:20 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Zod

Jack over the speaker phone: SONOVABITCH!!! DAMMIT LYNN AND REDSHIRT, THERE IS NO MORE TIME FOR YOUR DARTH VADER IMPRESSIONS!!

March 17 2006 at 11:11 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Eric B

Following the droubt of toothpaste in California, actors are seen here being hit by the same pandemic. The Californian Governor plans to strike back hard and is pleading with neighbouring states to help out before all actors are forced to cover their mouths when they speak. More on this story at 11.

March 17 2006 at 8:54 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Ninram

These hand phones really do work, Chief.

March 17 2006 at 7:54 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
funkpunk

Lynn: I swear, it wasn't me this time.

March 17 2006 at 7:53 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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