Brit Hume and SpongeBob battle for ratings

According to Paul Bedard at U.S. News & World Report, Bret Hume of Fox News Channel's Special Report is going after SpongeBob SquarePants. No, it's not about SpongeBob's alleged latent homosexuality.

That's actually on next week's show.

Actually, what it's about is ratings. Hume's Special Report, which has been around since 1998, is the number four basic cable show in the 6 p.m. slot and the number two news program behind The O'Reilly Factor. His long-term goal is to move up the ratings ladder for his time slot. However, networks like Nickelodeon, home of Mr. SpongePants, stand in his way.

Maybe Mr. Hume should do an expose on Mr. SpongePants, the deplorable working conditions at The Krusty Crab and what exactly is in a Krabby Patty?