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May 24, 2012

The Five: Shows that should never be on the big screen

by Bob Sassone, posted Mar 22nd 2006 3:06PM

Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van DykeToday's news that Will Smith will play the Robert Wagner role in a remake of It Takes A Thief got me thinking: what shows should they never, never, ever, ever update and bring to the big screen? I'm tempted to say "most TV shows," but I'm talking about the five that they should never touch. Here's my list:

1. The Dick Van Dyke Show: Can you imagine this show on the big screen? How would they recreate the rhythm and pace of the show, the ensemble chemistry, the writing? If anyone even attempted to redo this show on the big screen, they should be dragged to the California border and banned from the state forever.

2. The Andy Griffith Show: If they attempted to update this show, they'd make it ironic and irreverent and sexual. And while I think that might actually make a funny short film (or a sketch - they had a funny take on the show when Ron Howard hosted SNL many years ago), it would destroy the whole purpose of the show.

3. I Love Lucy: I don't know who the hell they'd get to replace Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, but I know that the plot would involve Lucy trying to get into Ricky's act. Only this time it wouldn't be at the Tropicana, it would be The Academy Awards, and Lucy would destroy the show in front of billions of people,  and probably be involved with spies or something. Ugh.

4. Magnum, P.I.: This is being talked about (I know George Clooney was attached at one point, and Tom Selleck says that the only way he'd do it is if it's on the big screen), and it looks like it's now a go, but this would be pointless too. The only way it would work is if they keep the same exact cast (Selleck, Hillerman, Mosley, Mannetti) and keep it set in Hawaii. But are those four leads a big enough draw for a big budget action flick on the big screen? Hmmmm.

5. Miami Vice: Whoops. Too late.

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Angie Amonett

I agree with you 100%!!!! The TV movie remakes of some of hte golden oldies shows have been much less than desireable...such as I Love Lucy! I would love to see a Magnum PI movie with as you said, ALL the original cast and set in Hawaii. I can't see George Clooney playing Thomas Magnum. Only one person can do justice to that role and it's the one and only actor who portrayed him for 10 years! TOM SELLECK!

March 22 2006 at 8:22 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
John

"I Love Lucy: I don't know who the hell they'd get to replace Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz,"

Well, that's easy. It'd be a gender switch, with J.Lo as Desi and... I dunno... David Spade as Lucy?

March 22 2006 at 7:22 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bob Sassone

Elf: first, it's a coincidence. Didn't even see that article.

Second, of COURSE there are shows that could be made into good movies: some of the Star Trek movies, The X-Files. Some TV shows, especially recent ones, would lend themselves quite nicely to the big screen. I'd go see an Alias movie if they made one, and the Mission: Impossible flicks are fun (even if there really isn't much borrowed from the series).

But this particular post was about 5 very specific shows from the past that would be impossible (or should be impossible) to bring to the big screen. The shows they shouldn't touch.

March 22 2006 at 6:56 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bob Sassone

That's true, but they'd get around it. They'd rename it "Rob Petrie: The Movie" or something.

March 22 2006 at 4:38 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Alan

Plus 3 out of the 5 you named has the staring Actors name in the title. How odd would it be to have the Dick Van Dyke show with someone other than DvD. You can add Bewitched and Beverly Hillbillies to the list of movies from TV that never should have been made.

March 22 2006 at 4:35 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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