American Idol: The Devil Collects a Soul
Well, I am shocked. It looks like Kevin's pact with
the Devil is up, and he has finally been eliminated. I assume this means that the Devil will now collect on Kevin's
soul and he will have to travel to Hell, spending eternity burning in the flames of everlasting darkness. I'm
confused if that's how it actually works because in every "sell your soul to the Devil"
movie I've ever seen, somehow the Devil is tricked into giving the person their soul back. (Which is a little
unfair to the Devil, don't you think? I mean, the guy's got a business to run and people keep breaching their
contracts.) I'm sure Kevin will somehow weasel his way out of his pact as well. Most likely, the Chicken
Little people already have Kevin trademarked and will threaten copyright infringement upon the Devil if he
collects on his soul. Alas, the Devil gets screwed again.
Ahhh Kevin, your pact didn't get you all the way, but far enough to increase your chances of making it to 2nd base with every 11-year-old and/or 88-year-old female, and/or male, including (but not limited to) the continental United States and most Canadian provinces, excluding Quebec. (The preceding verbiage is an exact excerpt from Kevin's pact with the Devil. Man, Lucifer does manipulate legal jargon to trick innocent souls unto an unrighteous path. All those movies were right!)
The only thing that surprised me about tonight was Kevin's closing montage. He looks dorky now, but who knew it was actually an improvement on how he use to look? Nice Jarhead haircut during the audition, Kev. And during his farewell song, I was a little worried by the return of the pocket hand. Luckily, it only lasted a few seconds. Some of you speculated that he might have been playing a bit of pocket pool last night. You sickos. Pocket pool? No way. I know what he was doing -- he was trying to solve a Rubik's Cube one-handed, and on live TV. You gotta admit, that's pretty ballsy. Hey, what's a ballsy? (Tee hee)
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