Family Guy: Sibling Rivalry
Well, if there's one reason I'm glad I watched tonight's ep
is because I learned exactly how a vasectomy is done. Thanks to the barbershop quartet singing about the procedure and
the handy diagram of the scrotum, I now know exactly what it entails.Peter is going to have a vasectomy, so he decides to freeze is sperm before he does it. This leads to an hysterical yet truly gross scene where Peter knocks over an entire shelf of sperm samples, and has to refill them, um, himself. Flash forward nine months, and a woman gives birth to another Stewie, named Bertram.Bertram (voice of Wallace Shawn) shows up at the playground (not quite sure of the timeline of this...how old is he now?) Stewie heads an attack to "unleash Hell" on his archenemy. This leads to a surreal scene (which pretty much describes Family Guy anyway) where all the kids fly airplanes and shoot bullets and missles at each other. Their planes are destroyed, but they parachute to safety. Bertram sends Stewie's girl with a surrender note. But she's wearing makeup to hide...chicken pox! It was a ploy by Bertram to give Stewie and his army the red dots. Lois picks up Stewie, and he mentions that she's so fat she looks like a Memory Foam mattress.
Yes, Lois is getting fat because Peter won't have sex with her. But in bed, when Lois accidentally falls on top of him and can't get up, the two decide to have sex ("Fat sex is the best sex we've ever had!").
Stewie goes back to the playground. Bertram is surprised to see him alive. The two end up in a swordfight (yes, a swordfight) that would make Errol Flynn proud. Or maybe this was an homage to Shawn's movie The Princess Bride. Stewie wins and Bertram asks him if he's going to kill him. The next scene is Stewie and a man digging a hole. Relax, they're only planting a tree. Bertram actually gave up and ran off.
Lois has a heart attack during sex, but she'll be OK. The doc gets rid of Lois' fat and stores it in a closet. The doc opens the closet and Peter is in there, having sex with the giant pile of fat. Whoa.
You really can't describe this show without it sounding deranged. Which it is. But it's funny as hell too.

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