The Daily Show: April 5, 2006

This was a special topic-specific episode, entitled "Race: The Afrospanicindioasianization Of America" (and yes, Jon did stumble over the name). "Evolution Schmevolution", their last topic-specific series, was somewhat disappointing, so I wasn't expecting much from this episode. And I'm glad I didn't. I guess some of the correspondents wanted to take a vacation or something because there weren't any of them on live (just Jon and Resident Expert John Hodgman).

Correspondent Demetri Martin (sporting yet another ridiculous tie) reported from the streets, starting his segment about the public's view on the race issue by saying to Jon, "Thank you, Jew." Out of all the responses, I think the funniest one came when Martin asked a guy which race should be excluded from the episode's discussion if time was an issue... The man answered that Asians should be eliminated because they're so obnoxious on the subway. Ahh, God bless America.

Jon talked a little about trying to find a proper opening graphic for the episode. They decided to use Benny Hill music to lighten the mood on such a heavy issue. It never fails! He then asked Resident Expert John Hodgman, "How soon until white people are the minority?", to which Hodgman answered, "Short answer is 2061... The long answer is June 19, 2061." Hodgman also explained that it's not a very good way to identify people by just "black" or "white". Instead, the proper way to do it would be to use paint samples. For example, Jon is a "fresh butter" or "windham cream", not white. And how would one classify someone of mixed race like Tiger Woods? He's not black, he's "copper mountain" with a hint of "sienna clay". Carlos Mencia is a "pueblo brown", Ted Kennedy is a "waxy drunked pink" (aka "lazy leprechaun") and Jackie Chan is "scheming yellow lemondrop" or "bad driver goldenrod". Well, these colors won't really matter in the long run when everybody will be the same shade of "soft pumpkin".

"Racist Like Me": Rob Corddry then filed a report about the most discriminated group of all: racists. They are hated and violently attacked... It's truly unfair. "How do I know?" he asked. "I am one. I hate people of color. And also Jews. And gays..." Corddry showed that way back in his local news days (which means that he taped a bunch of clips of him as a meteorologist and whatnot, wearing wigs of different sorts), he was unfairly suspended or fired for being a racist. Even at TDS, when he tried giving Jon an innocent heil/high-five, he was punished by being forced to share an office with Ed Helms. To learn more about why people hate racists so much, Corddry tried to talk to some experts, but they were all either black or Jews. At the end of the segment, Corddry showed a list of people he hated but it scrolled by too quickly to really see. Buuuut, you know someone on the Internet got around to typing up the whole thing (yay TiVo). The list is pretty funny and even includes an e-mail address (listpauser@yahoo.com). Everyone that e-mailed the list got a special message from Corddry. And yes, I e-mailed.

The night's guest was General Tony Zinni. Pretty straightforward interview discussing the war. Zinni said that the government didn't fully consider the proper way to approach the war in a post-Cold War world.

Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert applauded Jon for transcending race issues... and, to some extent, sexual. Moment of Zen: Welcome to Ellis Island!