American Idol: Freddie's Moustache Lives!

by Lacy Hall, posted Apr 12th 2006 1:24AM

ai logoI don't think I've ever anticipated an American Idol theme night more than this. Like many of you, I typically hate the theme nights. It feels like someone stole the song selection book at a karaoke bar, and left only one page for drunken patrons to choose from. But I was excited for tonight --simply because I thought it would suck. I thought it would be a disastrous mess of awkward and uncomfortable song choices and bad Freddie Mercury impressions. And, I was absolutely convinced that Taylor Hicks would wear a fake moustache (a semi-gray fake moustache, of course). But tonight was pretty good. It was entertaining to say the least.

Don't get me wrong. At times, it sucked. But more trying to drink a McDonald's thick shake through a straw suck, than Dyson vacuum suck. There was something very triumphantly sucky about tonight and I loved it.

Kellie Pickler- I now know what Kelly Bundy would have looked like if she had auditioned for American Idol. Kellie totally looked like Kelly Bundy in her rocker girl outfit and rocked-out blonde hair. See, here I thought that Kellie Pickler was a one-note pony and it turns out that she can play a variety of different roles. I had her typecast as a dumb blonde country girl when she totally can pull off the dumb blonde rocker chick, as well. Good job at expanding your performance portfolio, Pickler. Kellie did do pretty well tonight. Better than I thought she would have. She had fun with it, and that's what tonight's show needed. But Simon was right, that opening shot of her straight-on with the dark lights was pretty rough. And when I say pretty rough, I mean ugly rough. Yowza, talk about having bags under your eyes, she had luggage. I blame the camera man, not her mom's DNA.

Ace Young- In his effort to fully "rock us," Ace busted out the black leather pants tonight. For Joaquin Phoenix's sake, I hope they were pleather, but I doubt it. Ace was just okay tonight. He seemed to be having a lot of awkward moments with Queen and that's not a band that I would want to get awkward with. Which brings up a good debate -- why do bands give permission for contestants to use their songs if they are going to get upset about it being rearranged? And, was Ace out of line in asking Queen to play his re-worked version? I abstain from the discussion because I want to remain impartial (i.e. I just don't care.)

I think that this might be the last night for Ace. He didn't suck, but I'm just sick of the guy. Sure, he's got a pretty face, but he peaked way too early with "Father Figure" and he has yet to come even close to it. He reminds me off those hot guys in YM magazine that I'd cut out when I was like 13 and stick them up in my locker. I'd stare at them between classes and imagine how one day, I'll have a cute boyfriend like that with a pretty smile. But really it was all for not, because they were all gay male models, and they would never have gone for me anyway. It was all a broken dream, and that's the way I feel when I look at Ace. He's got a lot of something, but it adds up to nothing.  

Bucky- Every week, I'm shocked that Bucky is still on the show. But I must say, he did well. He's got a likable personality. He manages to pull off the innocent country boy routine without coming across as a dingbat like Pickler. And he has great song choices. But, his voice is too weak. As Simon said, the songs are always bigger than him. He needs to take a page out of Chris Daughtry's book and learn how to project more. Or...get the producers to turn his mic up to 11. Rock n' roll!!!!!!!!!

Taylor Hicks- Holy crap, I was annoyed by Taylor tonight. I don't know why "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" gets on my nerves, but it does. It's a good song, but it just stabs at my soul. I still have it ringing in my head and there is no hope of getting it out. It was a good song choice for him, but the dance moves were retarded. Taylor is no Justin Timberlake and never will be. I responded well to the windmill arm move because it's so very "him". But, the missed microphone kick? Oh man, that goes in the books as one of the funniest AI bloopers in history. There are very few things in life that are more embarrassing than having a rock n' roll move backfire on you. Through the magic of DVR, my roommate and I rewatched it 5 times. He actually didn't miss the microphone stand, he just kicked it too low and that's why it didn't fall over. Come on, Taylor, in order to make the mic stand fall, you must kick higher than your kneecaps. This is Intro to David Lee Roth 101, buddy.

Katharine McPhee- I know a lot of you really dug Katharine tonight, but I was slightly bored by it. Sure, she sounded good and looked pretty, but I was all amped up on a rock vibe and she just went all Disney soundtrack all over the place. What I was more excited about was her outfit. The high-waisted belt over the fitted top, complimented by the huge rack -- it was totally Dolly Parton in 9 to 5 and/or Peggy Bundy. I'm just gonna ignore the Peggy Bundy comparison since it's the second Married with Children reference I've made in a single post. Instead, let Katharine's outfit be a silent scream to producers that we want need a Dolly Parton theme night!

Chris Daughtry- I'm so tired of Simon telling Chris that he's self-indulgent and isn't breaking out of his comfort zone. Why is Simon doing that every week? Is it because Chris is so clearly the front runner at this point that Simon is just trying to "shake things up"? If so, I understand that it's a ratings ploy, but it's so annoying. I think that Chris took a big chance this week in picking a song that has never been performed live, even by Queen themselves. And, I think he did an amazing always. I've just had enough of Simon's "self-indulgent" comments, and enough of that stupid strobe light. Someone please unplug that thing.

Elliott Yamin- Ugh, I didn't think Elliott sounded good at all. The judges were totally up his butt with compliments, but I felt like something was off and I don't know what it was. I'm not really familiar with "Somebody to Love," so maybe that was part of the problem, but Elliott just sounded off his mark. I replayed it again and it still sounded bad, even with me giving him the benefit of the doubt. I sorta knew that Queen would be tricky for Elliott to pull off, but I just hope it's not what gets him eliminated.

Paris- I liked her outfit and rock n' roll wig tonight. She looked like a dwarf version of Kellie Pickler. Which actually means that she looked like a dwarf version of Kelly Bundy. Which looks a lot like Lil' Kim in the "It's All About the Benjamins" video. But whoever she looked like, I thought she sounded great, and Queen seemed to agree. I didn't understand Simon's, "that was weird" response at all. Of course, he didn't have too much time to explain himself since they immediately cut to Ryan. It would be nice if they limited Paula's pointless gushing by a few seconds, so Simon could actually have time to respond properly.

My pick for elimination- Ace Young

My vote- Chris Daughtry (although, I don't think anybody really knocked it out of the park)



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I think anyone who doesn't realize how badly Kellie Pickler butchered "Bohemian Rhapsody", needs to call an ENT specialist and get their ears checked, STAT.

There were more than three times, after which I stopped counting, that my whole body reacted violently in a cringe as I had to physically turn my head away, and put my hands to my ears, and just shake my head.

I thought it was the worst performance of the night, and I wasn't too impressed with Elliott or Taylor.

If it wasn't for votefortheworst, Kellie would be long gone. She has no talent, whatsoever. Her stupidity is just as fake as Jessica Simpson's was, and the fact that so many people seem so charmed by her, makes me worry about the declining intelligence of our national as a whole, that people can be snowed by someone my age. No wonder Geroge Bush is President.

For the record, Ace actually did better than he's ever done. Because when he ruined Daniel Beddingfield and Train those two nights, I wanted to ruin him.

And Katharine McPhee did way better than anyone gave her credit for. She's beautiful, and phenomenal, and by far, the most vocally talented, which is what the competition is supposed to be about in the first place.

Her and Chris are definitely the front runners, and I agree with whoever said she's the sleeper pick to win.

April 16 2006 at 7:01 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

To "niccomm" - Yes, the recaps are from the dress rehearsals as they don't have time to splice bits and pieces from the actual live performances before the show ends. Just FYI:)

April 14 2006 at 9:44 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Big D

Artists may or may not mind if their songs are rearranged when someone else performs them, but what Brian May was saying is that he/Queen were not going to play Ace's rework of their own song.

p.s. I still wanted to hear "Flash" lol, but I am glad someone did "Fat Bottomed Girls"....

April 12 2006 at 5:30 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Although she probably won't win this year (which is a great thing for her), Paris is clearly the only AI contestant that is ready for a professional recording career for my money. If I had to decide who gets a budget, that is what i'd bank on. Still a little bit rough around the edges, she seems to be the only one who has it in her blood (not to mention in her bloodline). As a veteran professional singer myself, I think that I have a pretty good gage on what it takes to be in the "Music Business" there is a very big difference between that and "Music". People should get very aquainted with the difference. We all are!

April 12 2006 at 3:07 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Okay my good people!
Now that we've established that Ace should go out on the next thing smokin', I thought that although Paris's singing performance was wonderful for the genre, I'm kinda spooked out by how the Hollywood machine is transforming her with a quickness. I don't think that she'll win this show though (too close to Fantasia...Fantasia who?, I do however think that it will go to Katherine who is not the most original singer but fits the AI mold in every way. She's probably the most moldable. Chris just sounds like most of the lead singers in all of the most popular bands right now, who happen to all sound like each wouldn't be surprised in the least if the remaining members of Queen didn't ask him to come and breathe some life back into them. They seemed to be excited about the possibility. I could just see the bubbles over their heads saying "If this show doesn't work out for you, we'd love to have you here." I really love Taylor's singing but I think if you don't have a physical condition that it shouldn't be your hook to act like you have finally....I wish we (the people) could vote Paula off the show. What irony.....Ah the humanity!!
p.s. Thanks for making the correction on the "all for naught comment" I thought I was losing my mind when I read "all for not"

April 12 2006 at 2:58 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Mike, I don't find it the least bit surprising that the AI posts get the most comments given that it is the #1 and #2 show each week. Now, if your question were rephrased...

Does anyone else find it totally "wack" that American Idol gets the most viewers on tv, despite the fact that there are at least 15 shows on television that are better than Idol?

I might be able to get on board with that one. :D

April 12 2006 at 12:48 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Does anyone else find it totally "wack" that the American Idol posts get the most comments around here, despite the fact that there are at least 15 shows on television that are better than Idol?

No? Carry on then...

April 12 2006 at 12:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I didn't like the sound mix last night, it seemed like the band was drowning out the vocals.

April 12 2006 at 12:09 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I would like to make one major comment in reference to Chris and the song Innuendo. I'm hearing a lot of people say, like Simon, that the track was a weaker song in the Queen catalogue (or something to that effect). Let me set the record straight in defence of Queen and to possibly my favorite song of theirs, that Innuendo is more correctly stated as one of their not so popular songs in America. However, with this being said, Innuendo is an extremely powerful song and is difficult to score well on due to it's complexity and power of the Mercury vocals. Also, the song is themed behind equally strong bass, drum and guitar chords which makes one have to belt out the lyrics yet still demontrate a strong range, as Chris clearly depicted last night. I would challenge anyone who criticizes that song to 1st listen to it from "Innuendo" the album b/c it is truly one of the most inspirational and powerful songs (in my opinion) that has ever been recorded. If anything, perhaps it was to powerful of a track to be reproduced for a show like "Idol".

April 12 2006 at 12:08 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

An added note to the earlier writer(s) -- I thought I imagined it last night -- re: Chris's eye makeup! How weird is that???? He needs to get rid of it and fast! It detracts from, rather than accentuates his eyes. As far as looks go, I think his build (nice butt) and his eyes are the things he's got going for him.

April 12 2006 at 12:06 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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