Naming celebrity babies
The New York Times has an interesting piece on the phenomenon of celebrities bestowing weird and unique names upon their children. My stance for the longest time was that giving your child names like "Pilot Inspektor" (Jason Lee's kid) or "Moxie CrimeFighter" (that's magician Penn Jillette's little girl) was essentially like turning your child into a walking billboard to advertise your own fertile imagination. However, I've had to lighten up on that stance recently, since this has become the new rule for baby naming these days, including my own family. Besides, I can't help but admit that "Moxie CrimeFighter" is a pretty awesome name.
Also, perhaps it's jealousy. My name is Adam, which I like just fine, but it lacks that certain je ne sais quoi. That's why I've teamed up with NASA scientists to devise a method of coming up with a suitable "Hollywood" name for yourself or your children, if you have any. Here's what to do:
1. For the first name, combine the name of your favorite childhood stuffed animal with the last thing you ate yesterday.
2. For the middle name, take the first letter of your first name and write down the first animal you think of starting with that letter. Then add your father or mother's main occupation when you were growing up.
Yes, perhaps Adam Finley, mild-mannered blogger from the midwest, would never get a call from Stephen Spielberg about appearing in one of his movies, but we'll just wait and see how easy it will be for Spielberg to resist having "BuddySweetTart AardvarkSecretary" in his next film. That would look so awesome on a marquee.