American Idol: Good Songs, Bad Outfits

You know what they didn't have a lot of back in the old days? Lyrics. Yeah, I know that the lyrics of most modern songs kind of suck. But never before did I realize how many times the chorus is repeated in older songs. It had to be you. It had to be you. It had to be you. But they are beautiful songs. But the outfits were ugly.

Not Rod, of course. He always looks sexy in his skinny, high-water suits. But Chris...

Chris Daughtry- I do find the man sexy, but not in an ascot. And it wasn't just an ascot, it was a deflated ascot. Did anybody else notice how flat his ascot was? I figure if you're going to wear something as queer as an ascot, you need to just rock the ascot at full-poof. No half-poofs. Plus, I didn't like the vest and super tight dress shirt. I don't know. I appreciate the attempt at dressing up the rocker boy, but it just looked like they took a suit, ripped it up, and threw a wallet chain on it. I say, if you are going to get dressed up -- go for your Sunday Best; don't put a half-ass rock n' roll spin on it. But he did sound amazing. That goes without question. Mostly everybody tonight was absolutely amazing. But we all know who did the worst...

Kellie Pickler- Whoa, she blew it tonight. It was squeak, squeak, squeak all the way through. And the song was not the best of choices. But she did look amazing in her sexy red dress. There were only two Kellie dumb moments, but they were doozies (plural form of doozy). Telling Rod Stewart, "you took a load off my chest" is a classic Kellie sound bite that I'm sure will be brought up Wednesday night. And she tried to get all dumb during the post-interview when Paula complimented her dress, but Ryan cut her off. Have you noticed that they have stopped dumb-baiting her? I think that is a wise move. She really did bomb tonight, but I don't think it's her time to go home. She's just too much fun to watch.

Paris- That outfit was all wrong. She didn't look like an American Idol, she looked like a woman going to apply at a temp agency. It wasn't costumey enough. And the hair was boring and drab. Forget about how well she could sing, I just kept wondering how many words per minute she could type. I felt like Kellie got the best pick of the wardrobe and the other girls got screwed.

Taylor Hicks- I'm sure everybody saw Taylor getting spoofed on SNL's Weekend Update. What a huge honor! That's almost bigger than winning Idol itself. I really liked Taylor tonight, but mostly just at the end when he started going nutty on the song. He should just go off like that all the time. And I like how Rod Stewart was defending Taylor's dance moves. Wanna know why? Cause Rod can't dance either. But my question is, who exactly is in the Soul Patrol? Is anybody out there a part of the Patrol? How do you join and is there a secret handshake?  

Elliott Yamin- Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Here's Elliott's problem -- personality. He doesn't really have one. Sure, he is a nice guy. But there are no sound bites. There's no SNL-spoofing potential. He's such a fantastic singer, but his personality just doesn't project. It's sad because he's a great singer, but this competition is about so much more than that. Elliott is going to be gone soon.

Ace Young- I didn't think I'd like the slicked back hair, but it was alright. It felt very '80s Michael Douglas, even though I don't think Michael Douglas ever rocked that hairstyle in the '80s. But that's what it makes me think of. I'm just glad that they went ahead and dressed him up 100%, instead of half-ass dressing him up like Chris. I thought Ace sounded amazing tonight, but...too little, too late.  

Katharine McPhee- Once again...great song, but bad outfit. She's such a beautiful girl -- why did they dress her in that boring black pant suit? I guess I wanted more glamour. At least, a bit more color with her outfit. But I did think it was funny that Paula brought up Mr. Holland's Opus. My roommate brought up the same point. When I think of Mr. Holland's Opus, I think of "beautiful, beautiful, beautiful booooooooy."

My pick for elimination- Elliott or Ace

My vote- Ace (as a last ditch effort)

My favorite non-sensical sign of the night- "Chris Rock, You're #1"