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November 28, 2014

This is how I know Saturdays on TV suck

by Joel Keller, posted Apr 22nd 2006 10:31PM
Pretty WomanI've bitched before about how the networks seem to have given up on Saturdays. But tonight ... tonight's a little ridiculous. I'm watching ABC right now, and guess what it's playing? Pretty Woman! That's right ... a sixteen year-old movie, that TBS AMC won't touch because it's not fresh enough, is taking up a piece of a major network's schedule. And it's not even Christmas!

Of course, I'm watching the stupid thing (nothing else on ... maybe the NBA playoffs, but ... eh). Here's what I'm learning from this experience:

1. Julia Roberts is the least convincing hooker I've ever seen.
2. Early '90s double-breasted suits look kinda silly now.
3. Richard Gere never did anything for me as an actor.
4. Jason Alexander was actually thin once ... once.
5. This is the movie that inflicted "The King of Wishful Thinking" upon us.
6. This movie isn't nearly as funny as I thought it was in 1990.
7. I really, really need to get a girlfriend.

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Allie

Joel.. I think that I have a little blog-crush on you. It started with the Lisa Loeb interview and now I find out that you're watching Pretty Woman alone on a Saturday night? I would so have dragged you away for a night on the town..

April 24 2006 at 4:14 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jimmy

Yeah, Pretty Woman is just one of those films that doesn't hold up once the "newness" of Julia Roberts wears off. Roberts has never been that great of an actress to me; although, her turns in Erin Brokovich and Steel Magnolias were quite good, I thought. Pretty Woman relied on her innocence, goofy smile, and too loud laugh to be a hit. Sad fact is, Gere has never had anything has popular as this film since.

I also agree with your opinion of Saturday nights. It's really sad because Saturday has some very good television history to it. In the 70s Saturday night gave us the likes of All in the Family, Bob Newhart, MASH, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and Carol Burnett -- each of them a hit show in their day and a classic to this day. It used to be the night of Gunsmoke -- my mother's favorite show -- and the original Mission: Impossible series. In the 80s, Saturday night gave us The Golden Girls and Hunter. Hell, even bad shows like Touched by an Angel and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman were big hits in the 1990s!

The networks seem to be under the impression that no one watches television on Saturday night, but many cable networks air original films and series that draw in huge numbers. If, in their infinite wisdom, the networks could put good television on Saturday night people might actually watch. Hell, shows like Commander in Chief or Alias or even Scrubs would probably do quite well on Saturday nights instead of being stuck between the most watched shows on television.

April 23 2006 at 3:00 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
matt

What do you mean "inflicted?" "Bestowed" is more like it! Download the MP3 and play it with your bass way up! "Cuz I'm the KING OF WISHFUL THIIIIIINKIIIIIING!"

I'm sure anyone else who had a crappy supermarket job as a teen will sympathize

April 23 2006 at 12:37 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Colleen

Saturdays became Netflix day a long time ago. Or catching up on everything in the DVR.

And I'm with you Joel. I loved the movie when it first came out, and saw it about a year ago and thought to myself, "What the hell was I thinking?".

April 23 2006 at 10:11 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Greg

You have to remember to the NBA and NHL playoffs have started. Especially hockey there are a ton of games on this weekend.

April 23 2006 at 8:28 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jake

How about turning off the TV one day a week. Problem
solved... if there is nothing good on, go outside.

April 23 2006 at 2:25 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bon

VERY important to air Julia Roberts' movie from when she FIRST won the world over... it's to remind the masses that we should give her a little time to ripen on the vine on Broadway.

I'm guessing.

April 23 2006 at 1:30 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jamie

Networks have given up Saturday completely. Where are all the good cartoons on Saturday morning?

April 23 2006 at 12:34 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
SamMalone

So you must not watch NASCAR.

April 23 2006 at 12:06 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Chris.B.

Yeah Joel,Saturday TV has become very "sucky". I've been switching channels between double showings of Jurassic Park III & double showings of The Godfather I & II( I watched The Godfather trilogy last night). Anyway,I decided to go to the gym & work off the boredom.BTW Joel, if I know of someone who wouldn't mind staying at home & watch TV with you, I'll send her your way....no strings attached!

April 23 2006 at 12:01 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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