The Daily Show: April 26, 2006

Have you ever taken a long trip on an airplane and thought to yourself, "This is far too comfortable!" Well, you're in luck because Airbus is pitching the idea of creating some new standing seats (the pasenger would essentially be harnessed onto a padded board). If you've ever wanted to travel the world the same way as an airplane's tray tables or Hannibal Lecter, write to Airbus and let them know how you feel.

Big announcement from the White House: President Bush has selected a new person to make the big announcements from the White House! Former FOX News anchor and George Bush, Sr. speech-writer Tony Snow is the new White House Press Secretary. Bush said during the press conference, "Tony already knows most of you... and he's agreed to take the job anyway." Har har. Jon added in his Bush-voice, "Little joke there. Heh. But seriously, you guys are dicks." Fun Fact: Bush said that Tony Snow is in a rock band. But, did you know he plays jazz flute? Nothing reels in the groupies like a hardcore flutist. Fun Fact 2 (according to yet another installment of The Decider): Bush picked Tony Snow just because he was on TV at the right time.

"The Big House": Ed Helms filed a report about the hapless congressmen and congresswomen that are stuck in their hellhole jobs because of the high rate of incumbent victories. Some people didn't see a problem in this situation, but other were eager to get the lingering congressmen out, saying that they only stayed in their jobs to raise money to campaign for their next term. Congress will only meet 97 days this year and Helms was quick to defend against anyone who complained. "97 might sound like a small number in days worked per year... but what if you think of it in terms of tons? 97 tons would crush you." Touché, Helms. Helms also offered to help some members of Congress escape their jobs by donning a bondage mask and getting down to business. What a trooper.

"Pyramid Scene": In Bosnia, a new step-pyramid has been discovered, making it the first known pyramid in Egypt. This also marks the best news to hit Bosnia ever. I learned that geophysicist Amer Smailbegovic wouldn't be much fun at a party.

The night's guest was Kim Strassel from the Wall Street Journal editorial board. This interview was slightly awkward. It sounded like me trying to talk to my high school Economics teacher. Jon kept asking why oil execs are getting record profits while we're suffering from high gas prices, and Strassel either misunderstood him or had trouble trying to put it into terms that Jon could understand. I liked that Jon acknowledged the fact that it must be difficult for her to try and express things for a layman ("You're having trouble because you feel like you're talking to a retarded person," he said).

Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert signed a copy of Jon's book, Naked Pictures of Famous People. Jon complained, but Stephen explained that everything was okay because he wasn't signing as Jon and also "A) I got a box of 'em in my office that weren't exactly flying off the shelf and B) when I sign it, I always enclose a naked picture of myself, thus rendering the title apropo." Someone get Stephen to sign a copy for me. Moment of Zen: Senator George Allen couldn't contain his excitement over Tony Snow.