Stephen Colbert at the White House
I tuned in to watch Stephen Colbert provide the entertainment at the White House
Correspondents' Association dinner (Fun Fact:
Teenage fangirls will watch C-SPAN for hot fake-pundits). Colbert looked just as handsome as ever, and his wife looked
beautiful (there go my chances of stealing the man away). When President Bush and Laura Bush walked in, Colbert was
already situated at the head table (just five seats away from Bush and right next to Helen Thomas!) but stood up to
shake hands. I couldn't help but wonder if Bush had ever seen The Colbert Report before, but I guess he knows
about the jokes, because Bush gave Colbert a knowing look while greeting him.When Mark Smith was introducing everyone at the head table, Colbert received a glorious amount of applause (no doubt
about it: significantly more cheers than Mr. President). He stood up and pointed to the crowd, making it very clear
that he was in-character already. I immediately thought to myself, "Uh-oh, this could mean trouble."
After the introductions, everyone had dinner, so there was a gap of over an hour before Colbert did his speech. I
tuned in and out of the in-between material, which was okay, I guess. Polite, grown-up, "roasting the boss,
but not enough to get fired" jokes.
I was a little worn out from the speeches by the time Colbert took
the podium. His speech was very funny. I would have laughed out loud more if I wasn't so busy cringing. No lie. The
audience barely responded (unless you consider awkward silence a response) and I could feel Colbert fans everywhere
twitching with anxiety. While other speakers made silly jokes about Bush's mispronunciations and the cramped workspaces
of the press, Colbert took no prisoners and made jokes about everything from NSA wire-tapping to Bush's horrible
approval rating to Valerie Plame. If he had done this material on The Colbert
Report, everyone would have laughed like nothing was out of place... But at the dinner, Bush was right
there. Right there. Just a few feet away from Colbert. This made me (and many
fans) excruciatingly uncomfortable. I don't know if the lack of laughter (save for one or two jokes out of dozens) was
because people were afraid to laugh with Bush so near or if they genuinely thought Colbert was being unfunny.
Personally, I thought his performance was wickedly strong (albeit slightly recycled from his show), but the
circumstances made everything awkward.
He also presented an audition tape for the position of Press
Secretary. I was really surprised/happy to see Helen Thomas putting on a great show in a special appearance and I
laughed numerous times (some favorite parts: "NOOOOOOO! NOOOO!"; key-fumbling; Karl & Stephen). It looked
like something pulled right out of The Colbert Report. This was a lot more
light-hearted than the preceding speech, so I expected the audience to be hooting with laughter once it ended. How
wrong I was. Helen Thomas was in tears, but everyone else was just clapping politely. No cheers, no standing ovation.
Poor Stephen... I wanted to crawl into the TV and give him a hug.
But y'know what? Stephen Colbert -- not
character-Colbert, but the real guy -- has BALLS. Seriously. That took massive brass steel ADAMANTIUM balls to do. Part of me wished that he
didn't stay in character to save himself the pain, but another part of me is really glad he did that. He took his
truthiness to the belly of the beast and he should be commended for that.
To Mr. Colbert: I, and the rest of
the Colbert Nation, love you.
[EDIT] Crooks and Liars has video.

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