The Daily Show: May 3, 2006
"Mess O'Potamia": Time to complain about the rising gas prices... Jon showed some graphs to help us understand better. As supply goes down and the demand goes up, these factors both combine to go up your ass, thus creating the sensation of being "boned up the ass" every time you pump some gas. Fun Fact: Jon has surprisingly long fingernails... Not creepy-long, just surprisingly long. Josh Bolten said that there is no "silver bullet" to solve the problem. The other week, Bush said that there is no "magic wand" to fix it, either. "It's like our president is merely a Level 3 Wizard!" The Senate plan for $100 gas rebates hasn't been getting much support either. How is that supposed to help? "Yay! I'm a hundred-aire!"
"Sphere & Loathing": Senior Street Magicologist Jason Jones reported on David Blaine's latest feat. Jones announced that he planned to set a record of his own by spending 168 straight hours mocking David Blaine. The trick is to bend your knees. I don't really understand what's going wrong with Jones. The audience still isn't receiving him that well. I desperately want to like him, but I'm having a tough time. C'mon, Jones!
The night's guest was Clark Kent Ervin, author of Open Target: Where America is Vulnerable to Attack. He spoke about America's current vulnerability, saying that we're going "back to sleep" now that the initial 9/11 panic has somewhat subsided. Ervin also said that it doesn't matter whether it's liberal or conservative ("Or a Whig," Jon added) but we need an effective government in 2008. "Tippecanoe and Tyler too!" Jon shouted before thanking his guest. Wow, I actually remembered that from US History class.
Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert decides there's no need for a briefing... It's just a half-hour talk show. Moment of Zen: That David Blaine's a silly one.