The Five: Cinco de Mayo special

As we all know, Cinco de Mayo is that special day when people everywhere ask their Mexican friends what the hell "Cinco de Mayo" is, to which the answer is always, "Why are you asking me? I'm Puerto Rican." Anyway, I thought today was as good a day as any to honor our favorite "Mexican" cartoon characters. You know, as much as a cartoon character can have a nationality, since cartoon logic dictates that any character drawn with a sombrero on their head automatically becomes Mexican. Anyway, here's my shout out to those zany, albeit sometimes stereotypical, animated creatures who gave us a taste of what life was like south of the cartoon border. What, you may ask, does any of this have to do with Mexican forces defeating the French army in 1862? Absolutely nothing.

Let's get animate:

Speedy Gonzales: Well of course Speedy is going to be the first one on the list. Come on, as soon as you saw the words "Mexican" and "cartoon" you immediately thought of Speedy, right? Debate over whether Speedy's cartoons  --which were all based on essentially the same premise of Speedy using his quick feet to steal cheese and ridicule Sylvester-- showed Mexicans in a positive or negative light, still continue today. While I would never assume to speak for everyone, I can say that every Mexican-American friend I have absolutely adores Speedy. And really, how can you not love a little critter who loves cheese almost as much as he loves the senioritas?

Slowpoke Rodriguez: As much as I loved Speedy, I think I liked his cousin Slowpoke even more. While Speedy had the honor of being the "fastest mouse in all Meh-hee-co," Slowpoke was just the opposite. Watching Speedy leap and gyrate before zipping across the landscape was always entertaining, but watching Slowpoke amble across the screen, coupled with his loooooong and drawn out delivery, always sent me into hysterics. It seems that even without his cousin's super speed he still managed to get the job done. Unfortunately, I think Slowpoke was only in a couple cartoons. A shame, really.

Baba Looey: When discussions about stereotypes in cartoons come up, Baba Looey is often mentioned in the same breath as Speedy Gonzales. The two shared similar traits, such as the sombrero and a love for mariachi music, but Baba Looey wasn't just a mere sidekick to the well-meaning but dimwitted Quick Draw McGraw. He was that quiet voice of reason who tried to keep his pal safe from harm. Quick Draw and Baba Looey were just another in a long line of duos where the supposed "sidekick" was really the smart one.

Bumble Bee Man: Okay, now we're getting closer to modern times. Bumble Bee Man, as we all know, is the man in the Bumble Bee suit who speaks in remedial Spanish and appears in the Simpsons' universe on several Spanish-language programs, which the Simpsons writers always try to make as bizarre as possible. That's not an easy task when one considers just how weird shows on Univision and Telemundo can get. If anything, Bumble Bee Man's appearances seem downright normal by comparison.

El Jefe: After all this talk of stereotypes and political correctness, I thought I'd end this list by mentioning El Jefe, the Mexican part of Minoriteam who actually uses his stereotype to fight against those who would oppress him. Also, I really want a leaf blower than can tear asunder the fabric of time and space. That could really come in handy.