(S03E24) Prom is over and enter the aftermath. But surprise, surprise...Volchok? Not dead. Thank God. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly care if the guy lives or dies, but it would have just been bizarro times infinity if another one of Marissa's love interests ended up in the morgue. She does seem to like them on the brink of death.

But nope, Ryan rushes (not really, more like leisurely drives) Volchok to the hospital during a trippy, light-filled montage, and Volchok awakes without even seeing a doctor. Volchok (ever the good guy) doesn't sell Ryan out and claims he was jumped by a group of thugs. But it turns out that Volchok is not "ever the good guy."

He just wants Ryan to help him steal a car, and threatens to turn him in if he doesn't comply. I thought the car stealing scene was awesome because it was a direct throwback to the first scene of the pilot when Ryan's brother steals that car -- Volchok smashes the window, hot wires the car, calls Ryan a "bitch" and tells him to jump in. But unlike the first scene, Ryan doesn't jump in. Instead, he takes off on foot and flees (like a little Newport bitch boy, but whatever. You can't blame the kid for not wanting to go to jail again.) Ryan hooks up with Marissa and convinces her to be his alibi for the night.

Speaking of Marissa, how creepy was that whole lacrosse/stripper thing at Kaitlin's prep school? Did the writers mean to allude to the Duke stripper rape scandal, or was that just happenstance? It sort of creeped me out if it was planned. I don't think a possible gang rape is anything to make light of on a teen soap opera. And calling the lacrosse groupies, lacrosstitues? I'm gonna just assume that this episode was shot before the Duke scandal, and leave it at that. But I did think it was funny that they used The Valley to mock their own ratings slump. "That's what happens when you beat down the same love triangle for three years." The O.C. is never afraid to make fun of themselves.

As far as Sandy and Kirsten are concerned, I'm glad that they are starting to get better story lines. But, I really wish that Kirsten would stop being such a puny weakling. Remember how she use to be so strong? I suppose I should cut her some slack. Her dad did die in a surprise plot twist just a season ago. That must take some time to get over. I know it always takes me a little while to get over the plot twists in my life, especially during Sweeps.

So all lies are now out in the open -- Kirsten has relapsed, Seth didn't get into Brown, and Sandy is a corporate jerkface. But it looks as if honesty is the best medicine for the Cohens, and they might get back on track soon. Too bad stupid Seth had to go and burn down The Newport Group with one of his marijuana cigarettes. Bad Seth! I'm sure Sandy can get him off. As far as I know, this is the first arrest for Seth.

The show is off next week, but returns the following week for the season finale. The previews tease that one of the main characters might or might not die. Ummmmm, I'm not completely convinced. But if it's going to be anyone, it's going to be Marissa. According to rumors, Mischa Barton has been looking to leave The O.C. for a while. I guess she wants to quit her part-time TV teen drama job, so she can focus on her real life drama full-time.