David Blaine: Drowned Alive

When the main emphasis of your ABC special is trying to hold your breath for longer than eight minutes and fifty-eight seconds, the special itself probably doesn't need to be longer than a half an hour. You can try to stretch it to an hour, but you'd have to add a lot of filler. If you go for two hours, then the special becomes both an endurance test for the magician and  the home audience.

Well, as you probably know by now, David Blaine did not break the record for holding one's breath underwater the longest. Granted, if he actually did spend seven days underwater and his body had taken the punishment it supposedly had, lasting for seven minutes and eight seconds was a feat in and of itself. Of course, to get to that point we had to sit through a lot of shots featuring Blaine sitting underwater among sharks and stingrays, or falling into water, or talking about water. Also, we get to hear about his "journey" to his "human aquarium" at Lincoln Center, including all the crazy stunts he had done up to that point.

I won't say the special wasn't interesting, but it was way too long, and several times when they tried to heighten the emotional impact or get me to rally around Blaine, I found myself cracking up. Despite the trembling, barely coherent man they pulled from the water, the one who tearfully thanked the gathering crowd for their spirit and energy, I had to ask myself if one is allowed to be that emotional when you're the one who put yourself in the situation in the first place. Blaine addressed the crowd as if he were a hostage who had just seen daylight for the first time in three months, rather than a person who willingly submerged himself for seven days. Despite obviously knowing some magic, David Blaine is, to me, a performance artist, a person who wants to draw a crowd around him. You can't argue with results, and based on this special and various YouTube clips, a lot of people were mesmerized by Blaine's stunt. I'll admit I was intrigued myself, but I also can't help but point out that this, along with some of his other public stunts, was just a large scale version of a kid who stubs his toe on purpose to draw sympathy and attention from anyone he can.

Update: Our pals over at Divester have some opinions about the special, too.