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And I Quote: the best one-liners of the week
by Bob Sassone, posted May 12th 2006 1:20PM
"It was reported last week that Rosie O'Donnell will take over for Meredith Viera on The View. It will now be called The Obstructed View." - Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live.- "Senioritis. I'm having trouble getting motivated, though I guess I shouldn't tell that to the boss." - Will, explaining to C.J. why he's just walking around the White House, on The West Wing.
- "It's like Steve is America and you're Arrested Development. It doesn't mean you're bad, it just means he's not interested in you." - Fran, explaining her son's disinterest in his father, on American Dad.
- "Like they say, a man's reach must exceed his grasp, for what's a penis for?" - Charlie, to Alan, about the smartest girl in class calling Jake, on Two and a Half Men.
- "The resemblence is uncanny. And by that I mean you both have gigantic cans." - Jack, to Karen and her sister, on Will and Grace.
- "Thanks. First time today. I've gotten three Matthew McConaugheys, two Aaron Eckharts, and one Thomas Jane. Whoever that is." - Josh Lucas, to Jack, who knew who he was, on Will and Grace.
- "Doing things on the list without money was starting to feel like surfing TV channels without a clicker. It can be done, but your legs will get awful tired." - Earl, who gave away all his money, on My Name Is Earl.
- "Comedies are very much alive. As are homeless people." - Michael, who wants to give gambling winnings to Comic Relief, which doesn't exist anymore, on The Office.
- "Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children, since there's, you know, gambling and alcohol and it's in our dangerous warehouse and it's a school night and you know, Hooters is catering. Is that enough? Should I keep going?" - Toby, on why he didn't want Boy Scouts at casino night, on The Office.
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