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October 13, 2015

Family Guy: Untitled Griffin Family History

by Bob Sassone, posted May 14th 2006 10:02PM
Meg - Family Guy(S05E17) What can you say about an episode of a cartoon that shows that the universe was invented by God farting?

This episode had a big Simpsons vibe to it, where one character tells a historical story and the characters from the show serve as the historical characters as well. This one had Peter telling the rest of the family the story of the Griffin family as they all hide out in a panic room while robbers break into the house. It all starts with the dinosaurs, and the show helpfully gives both the theory of evolution and the intelligent design theory (Jeannie blinked everything into existence).

Why does this family hate Meg so much? First they tell her to go down the vent, and when she says she can't, they think she means she won't fit, so they all spit on her to grease her up. Then Peter picks her up and shoves her down the vent to get help make sandwiches, and Stewie calls her a bitch. Yikes.

Thanks to Peter's intercom blabbing, the robbers find Meg in the kitchen and write a sign to show Peter on the monitor that says "We ave your son." Heh.

Peter takes this opportunity to tell the family more of the story of his ancestors. This time it's on a slave ship, on its way to America to work on a Southern plantation. (Peter on the plantation owner's daughter, Lois: "Ordinarily a black man isn't attracted to white women ... she was the type of woman you wanted to have sex with over and over again, pushing her breasts together so she looked like a cross-eyed torso").

Um, seeing the Griffins as a black family? Wild. I particularly liked the scene where Peter tries to escape in a wagon with the help of his friend Al Cowlings.

Back in the present day, Peter finds a flare gun, and before Brian can tell him what to do, Peter fires it off in the panic room, making the sprinklers go off. Peter dons an oxygen tank, but it turns out it's not an oxygen tank, but a tank filled with Tony Danza's breath.

Peter continues his story, telling of his great grandfather, a great silent movie star. His name was Black-Eye Griffin, and in every silent comedy short he gets a black eye. This scene wasn't particularly funny, though I did like the sound they recreated for Black-Eye Griffin's first talkie.

Meanwhile, Meg is trying to convince the crooks to "have their way with her." They refuse.

Peter tells the family about his great uncle, Peter Hitler, Adolph's brother, who is shown bothering Adolph while he did "Nazi stuff." This wasn't particularlly funny either, though Peter asking Adolph what was going on with his art classes was pretty clever.

Back to today, Peter confesses to the family that he doesn't like The Godfather, because it insists on itself, and the family argues about it. Quite a bizarre scene, as the family is about to drown. In the nick of time, the cops come in and save the family, but they announce that the crooks are pressing sexual charges against Meg. She is now a sexual predator.

All in all, a so-so episode. It started rather strong but got weaker as it went along. Next week is the season finale, so let's hope they can end the season on a stronger note.

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Bruce Bromley

First, I'd like to say I thought this episode was pretty damn funny. I'm surpised the Fox censors let the bit with God's creation of the Big Bang go to air especially with all the whining about "The Davinci Code". Second I would't blame Seth M. or anyone else behind "Family Guy" for airing "Stewie Griffin: TUS" as the season finale. Of course it was going to be shown eventually during the season. It is Fox saving some money. Not everyone bought the DVD, and for those who did it will be fun to see what gags get cut or changed due to the censors. At least it's not a 90 minute finale of the piece of dog excrement known as "The War at Home".

May 20 2006 at 6:33 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

90 minutes? seriously? is america even ready?

May 19 2006 at 3:05 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jason Anderson

Someone tell me why the hell they're cheapening out and using the movie as the finale? First they make us pay $20 to buy it, then they show it as part of a season taking place after the movie was made?

I always thought the movie was like a supersized episode, but this is just a cheap copout.


May 17 2006 at 12:15 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Arg I have seen the Stewie Griffin story I want to see an actual Finale not a I have no will to live and lets throw on something every Family Guy fan has seen LAME! Anyways I enjoyed last nights episode and some people are saying how this season isn't very good or what ever. I find it hilarious with Peter writing erotic novels and robbing trains with his father-in-law and the "Dig Em'" statue come on these are classic Family Guy things. I liked last nights episode basically becasue they brought back Nate Griffin pretty much my favorite episode of all time is the "Father, Husband...Brother?" epsiode...so funny.

May 15 2006 at 7:12 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jace T

I am choked about the finale..... lazy assed family guy..... what a way to slap all your fans who went out and bought the stupid dvd..... unbelievable.....

wasnt it quoted as like only on dvd or some BS...watch from some crazy american to sue family guy, lol.

May 15 2006 at 11:48 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I don't know what you people are talking about. This episode was great!

"Why does this family hate Meg so much?" Are you serious man? Does it really matter why they hate her so much? It's F**KING hilarious! "They wouldn't want to touch you because you're covered in spit". Come on man.

I really liked the last 2 episodes. The 2/3 before them I had problems with, but this one and the one from last week were awesome.

May 15 2006 at 10:51 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

So if Nate Griffen got it on with the Putershmitts daughter, does that mean that Peter and Lois were related before they got married? That explains why thier children are such freaks.

May 15 2006 at 10:00 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Mike Hoffpauir

I have to admit when FG first came back it was kinda slow. It had a few funny bits but nothing like the originals and thats what this ep reminded me of. But they have had a lot of good ones the last few weeks so it sucks they go out on a down note with this and something I seen a year ago. Oh well, theres always next season...

May 15 2006 at 9:09 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Seriously, do you expect every show to be dead-on funny? I don't. I expect there to be some crappy episodes. I believe that there may have been more bad episodes since Seth has had to work on two shows at the same time for the same network, so he's split between two shows.

But I am disappointed that the Stewie Griffin Story is the season finale.

May 15 2006 at 8:58 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I agree with Erick, Family Guy has really declined. When I heard it was coming back I was excited, then I wathced the premier; it was pathetic. The whole Mel Gibson thing wasn't funny in the slightest; and I'm not saying that because I'm religious--I'm atheist--it just sucked. I hated the Stewie Griffin story, and that as the season finale is a big let down. I don't think Seth McFarlane's heart is into the show anymore, which is a pity.

May 15 2006 at 2:45 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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