American Idol: Paula's runny mascara
I'll confess to this -- I did cry after watching Elliott's homecoming footage. I'm not the type of person who typically cries at a reality show montage, especially for one involving an Amish leprechaun (as one reader expertly described him.) But I'll fess up to crying tonight. I sniffled and thought, "man, it's going to be sad when he gets eliminated tonight." But then I shrugged my shoulders and remembered ... I don't like Elliott. Never have. But my tears were real, and not faux like Ryan's sexuality or Paula's boobs. I am slightly embarrassed that I broke down so easily. But hey, you gotta admit that seeing his mom choke up during Elliott's parade was a tear jerking Music/Variety/Game Show moment.
It was a good send off for a kid that nobody really thought would make it this far. (Oh, except Paula, of course.)
I was surprised the vote was so close this week. Taylor did not windmill over the competition as I would have hoped. In fact, the votes were so equally split that all three contestants were only separated by a fraction of a percentage point. I'm not great with math, but I know that when you gotta break it down to decimal points, then that's some serious crap. I was pleased that Ryan decided to make Elliott's elimination a little more respectful than Chris' poor send off. Acknowledging Elliott's mom in the crowd was a lot more pleasant than Chris' slap on the back last week.
As far as the show was concerned, I think this was one of my favorite shows of the season. Elimination nights are normally tedious and painful, but tonight was actually fun and enjoyable. I absolutely loved the footage of the contestants in their hometowns. We really haven't gotten to see the more personal side of the contestants since way back when we learned that Gedeon had a creepy affinity for metaphorical oil paintings. I did feel sorry for Katharine and the fact that her hometown is Hollywood. It was sort of a lame homecoming with it only being a few minutes away. But the high school kids at her alma mater did a good job feigning explosive excitement. But I don't blame Katharine for her lame homecoming footage. You just can't compete with the South. You have to admit that Southerners love parades and musical performances that take place in shopping malls. I'm from the South, and I know, we just eat that crap up.
Speaking of Katharine, I need to set the record straight. I like her big butt. Sure, I point out that she has a lot of junk in her trunk whenever possible. But I do the same with Taylor's gray locks and Elliott's donkey face. But I never said that I didn't like her delicious rump. I hated Mandissa's genormous fat ass. It was just too much, almost comical. But I like Katharine's curves. I think she's sexy. But you know what's not sexy? Paula crying. Ugh. It looked like she dumped olive oil on her face. I once thought that Tammy Faye Baker's tears were the most hideous display of liquid emotion in television history. I was wrong.