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May 25, 2012

The Five: Talk shows guests I don't want to watch

by Bob Sassone, posted Jun 1st 2006 1:46PM

Paris HiltonI like talk shows. Sure, many guests come on just to plug their latest movie/TV show/album/line of clothing, but that doesn't mean that the show can't be entertaining. The host has a lot to do with it, and many guests bring something extra to their interviews, whether they are plugging something or not. You can always count on people like Tom Hanks, Amy Sedaris, David Cross, Andy Dick and Vince Vaughn to be entertaining.

And then there are the guests you avoid like castor oil. Those guests that kinda ruin the entire episode. Or, at the very least, they make you change the channel after the opening monlogue/skits. Here are the 5 guests that, when I see that they're going to be on, I change the channel.

1. Robin Williams. Hasn't been funny in years, and I get annoyed and exhausted whenever I watch him on a TV show. He has sort of become a parody of himself. Instead of all the hyper antics, I'd love to see him talk about acting, since he's actually become a good actor.

2. Paris Hilton. You would think she'd be interesting to watch. Not because she's talented, but just because you wonder what she's going to say/do next, and maybe the host can have some fun with her. But she seems so outrageously boring and clueless that it's just a waste of time to watch. Hey, at least Madonna will start a string of obscenities or something and Paula Abdul might fall down.

3. Lead singers from rock bands. They don't often sit down with the host (they're usually the last guest on the show), but when they do, they usually have nothing to say.

4. Winners of reality shows. A lot like #3, but without the talent.

5. Star Jones. No explanation necessary.

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Walt

there ought to be a "Mendoza" line for talk show guests.

Kind of like a "Kathy Griffin" line. If the guest isn't as interesting or funny in the chair, they don't belong on the show. Exceptions are made to movies expected to gross more than $40million in the first weekend, but only the top talent from that movie.

Likewise, like it or not, Reality show winners whose shows have placed in the top five in the ratings also get on that list. You see, we want to SEE if there's anything to them outside the show. (ala Letterman's "Is This Anything?") It's part of their "15 minutes of fame" prize they get. Likewise, hilarious losers from reality shows that are popular are also fun, but only the once (ala, Omarosa. Face it, she was infamous at the time, and you want to see if she's that nasty in real life. She goes through, but for one time only).

Aside from that, #1Anna, you have duplicated my list with the notable exceptions of

John Travolta
Tom Cruise

June 01 2006 at 4:30 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Dee

Donald Trump
Paris Hilton
Rosie O'Donnell
Bill Clinton
Oprah

June 01 2006 at 4:03 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Thomas

I would agree with that list but I would also put my vote in for Julia Roberts, Billy Crystal and Martin Short - except for on Letterman since I think he has good chemistry with them so makes it work, but then he is great.

June 01 2006 at 3:55 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Toby OB

Well, I was with you on them all except the statement that Robin Williams has become a good actor.

At best he can evoke a puppy dog quality and to me it looks like he's always trying too hard. Except for one movie role, he's been the acting equivalent of fingernails down the chalkboard.

The one exception? "Dead Again". He was very good in that, but he's unwatchable now.

June 01 2006 at 3:25 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Anna

5. Martin Short- in love with himself
4. Billy Crystal- in love with himself
3. Sarah Jessica Parker- ditz
2. Julia Roberts- in love with herself
1. Cameron Diaz- obnoxious

June 01 2006 at 1:31 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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