The Daily Show: June 13, 2006

Hey, guess what? Karl Rove is not going to be indicted. Jon Stewart's audience doesn't take this very well and starts boo-ing and hissing. Jon finds their reaction pretty amusing and says of his audience, "You may remember them from Salem. 'See if she floats! If she does, she is a witch!'"

"Just Visiting": President Bush recently paid a surprise visit to Iraq. The new prime minister was very surprised ("'If I knew you were coming, I would have built an infrastructure!'"). Senior White House Correspondent Rob Corddry, live from Baghdad, reported on Bush's stay. He spent five hours with the prime minister, then took a two-hour nap, had a chat with the troops, attended a humus cook-off, and got to the airport two hours early for some duty-free shopping.

"Baywatch": At the Kafka-esque limbo that is Guantanamo Bay, three suicides took place. Deputy Assistant Secretary of State, Colleen Graffy, said that it was a good PR move to draw attention. Wow. Bill O'Reilly set himself up to be mocked on TDS by stating on The O'Reilly Factor, "Just hours after I left the prison at Gitmo last Friday, three detainees committed suicide." Jon looked surprised. "I can't believe they lasted that long after an O'Reilly visit!" he said, and then he made an The O'Reilly Factor for Kurds joke.

"U.N.-forgivable?": U.N. Deputy Secretary-General Mark Malloch Brown made a speech last week in which he called New York's UN headquarters "dilapidated", because it "falls dangerously short of city codes, lacks sprinklers, is filled with asbestos and is in most respects the most hazardous workplace in town". Most hazardous? The workers at the Firework, Kerosene and Matchbook Factory for the Blind beg to differ. Anyway, John Bolton was all like, "Don't be talkin' shit" and started looking like a walrus again.

The night's guest was Republican National Committee Chairman Ken Mehlman. Jon grilled him on Karl Rove's situation. Mehlman was fairly friendly but he gave really generic answers most of the time. And the audience was really irritating me again. They really get out of hand when they're cheering for everything Jon says. Hell, even Jon told them to hush up throughout the interview.

Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert welcomed Jon to the Coca-Colbert pre-show preview. Apparently, he sold advertising time in his preview chat. Moment of Zen: FOX News couldn't get over the fact that Iraq's prime minister was so surprised Bush was there, he placed his hand over his chest after shaking hands.