Entourage: One Day in the Valley

(S03E02) Only Ari Gold could make sex sound so glorious and painful at the same time.
Ari [to his wife, promising sex later that evening]: "We're gonna dent that headboard. No bullshit. I guarantee you! You will not walk right tomorrow."
I'm fairly certain that line is one of the top ten funniest things I've heard in the last year. Of course, that could change fast because we are only on the second episode of the season.
Aquaman is out. The official release day has arrived and Vince and the boys decide that maybe they should go see the film in an out of the way theatre. So they drive out to the valley and encounter rabid fans, intense heat, and no electricity. That poses a problem. The heat has lead to rolling blackouts that have extended as far as San Francisco. They even lost power during the screening the guys attended... right as Vince ("Aquaman") was about to go and wrestle with a giant tsunami sized wave. Not gonna lie, the movie looked pretty cool but it wasn't as slick as that Japanese commercial Vince made last season. I loved it when Turtle yelled at the theatre manager for refunding the tickets because everyone had seen half the movie already. Revenue is all that matters though.
So that became the focus of the episode. With electricity going out all over the place, would Aquaman generate enough revenue to topple Spiderman as the number one opening weekend gross? At first Ari seemed to think it was possible but after the lights went out at his couple's therapy session, his opinion changed. Can't make money if the theatres can't even turn the lights on.
So the guys are stuck in the valley. Traffic lights are out too and every major highway is gridlocked. They end up tagging along with some high school nerds to a nearby graduation pool party. Everyone gets trashed from cheap keg beer, Vince screams from the roof, and then he makes some wishes come true for those two nerds. First he sets them up with a couple of girls and then he gives them the Maserati - for keeps. At least until the lease runs out. Nice guy, that Vincent Chase.
Other things I enjoyed:
- Turtle calling Drama elderly.
- Lloyd being scared of Ari's wife.
- Everyone, including Ari, shotgunning a beer.
- Drama wrestling the giant high school jock and getting his ass kicked.
- Turtle knowing his way around the area because "the best rub n' tug in California used to be next door."
When all was said and done, Aquaman beat out Spiderman for highest grossing opening weekend. That makes Vince the biggest thing in Hollywood right now. I wonder if he can actually handle all that fame because thus far, he's seen nothing like this. Sure, Head On was a big film and he enjoyed great reviews in Queens Boulevard. But Aquaman is a James Cameron film. In the world of Entourage, this is the first big thing Cameron has directed since Titanic that isn't some weird documentary about the ocean. The boys are in store for one crazy season.

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