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April 23, 2014

The Daily Show: June 26, 2006

by Annie Wu, posted Jun 27th 2006 9:28AM
The Daily ShowThe Gay Pride Parade took place in Greenwich Village over the weekend (making Jon feel very out of shape). Jon joked (I hope?) that he thought, "I bet my son would love a parade!" and took his little boy to the festivites. Jokes about juggling balls and balloon animals ensued.

Jon had a message for all the people complaining about the government snooping around, "Suck on THIS, privacy whores!" Seven men were recently arrested in Miami for allegedly conspiring with Al-Qaeda and planning to blow up the city's FBI building and the Sears Tower. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced this news. When asked if any of the men had any actual contact with Al-Qaeda, Gonzales said, "The answer to that is no." Apparently, the biggest proof they had against these seven guys was that one dude went to Chicago once and... that's about it. The controversy revolved around a group called the "Seas of David", who aren't even Muslim! They, calling themselves "soldiers", "train through the Bible". The spokesperson for this group on the news made the blunder of saying "physically" and pointing to his head. C'mon, man. Are we supposed to take you seriously now?

Resident Expert John Hodgman offered some insight on the government's continued urging of the public to allow history render its verdict instead of judging now. Hodgman explained that many historical figures weren't popular in their time but are now remembered as heroes. For example, Abe Lincoln wasn't looked upon favorably in his day, but now we know that slavery is bad and Lincoln was a tall, gay, depressed, and almost circus-like freak. To prove a point, Hodgman gave Jon a sharp flick to his ear. See, although Jon's ear hurts NOW, this incident may cause an audience member to decide to create a flick-resistant ear. To give true fairness to the war, we must wait 1000 years. Well... "Then or longer. It really depends on when Jesus comes back." As for the chosen historians to write about the war in proper light, Bush has hand-picked Jesus, Tom Clancy, Karl Rove, and Lobot. They are all stored away in an underground bunker, 'cause if the war gets out of hand, we need to make sure we have someone to tell the world just what a great idea it was.

The night's guest was sports legend Lance Armstrong. Man, everyone freakin' loves this guy. The audience stood up for him and cheered their heads off. The interview covered Lance's status as a major source of inspiration, his struggle with testicular cancer, and "testicular-dar", the inner radar that allows those with testicular cancer to detect others with the same condition (similar to "gaydar"). Lance was tremendously funny and a fantastic guest. He and Jon clearly had a great time with the interview, joking around about cycling (Lance said that the only thing more embarrassing than flying over the handlebars while your hands are in the air for the finish line is to have someone pass you as your hands are in the air and therefore losing speed) and some segments from the earlier portion of the show (pointing at the head while saying "physically" and flexing for "mentally"). And even when Jon jokingly said, "Are you challenging me to a fight? I will fuck you up right here, right now", Lance stood up and gave an angry look to Jon, who quickly scooted around the desk in his little chair. Lance knew exactly when to get serious and when to joke around, without overpowering Jon's position as the interviewer. Perfect.

Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert decided to fire his lighting guy, Peter Rubens (17th century Flemish painter?), on-air. Moment of Zen: CNN's Security Watch commercials are, ironically, meant to create a sense of terror.

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Elliott

I've never attended gay pride in NYC, but Toronto hosted its pride this weekend and I saw many children in the estimated 1.5 million people audience.

But then again, it's much different there. There are no protesters and the only political part of it is when candidates walk by and hand out flyers (even the conservatives). Many children are actually in the parade throwing out candy or using squirt guns as their proud parents tow them in wagons.

Not extemely relevant to this episode of TDS, but I was so surprised (in a good way) by what I saw over the weekend in Toronto that I had to share.

June 27 2006 at 10:22 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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