The Venture Bros: Assassinanny 911

(S02E03) After seeing such major plot development in the first two episodes of the season (read some brief thoughts about them here), "Assassinanny 911" feels a little out-of-place. It's as though I could take the entire first season and easily shuffle this episode into the mix. I think the only things that could even possibly affect future episodes is the fact that Hank develops a crush on Molotov Cocktease and we get a bit more Brock/Molotov back story. That said, this was yet another extremely funny episode. Season Two is coming along beautifully.

The episode starts with a flashback to Brock's first training day with the Office of Secret Intelligence. There, he meets his trainer, who is a reference to the absolutely insane (and great) Hunter S. Thompson. He has the same glasses, cigarette holder, and manic way of thinking... In fact, the only things missing are a Hawaiian shirt and bucket hat.

Back to present time... Brock asks Molotov Cocktease to look after the Ventures while he goes away for an OSI mission. As she watches him administer the boys' monthly lice check and lovingly wipe a little smudge off Dean's face, Molotov tells Brock that she's disgusted with the fact that an advanced killer like himself is still willing to play "manny" for the family. She tries to urge him into go freelance with her, but he insists that it is his job to protect the Ventures. After Molotov quickly slays a vicious man-aconda (yet another messed up fictional creature chilling out in the Venture hangar) and the boys change into their Aquaman and Spiderman PJs, Brock takes his leave. Doc Venture tries hitting on Molotov, but she has none of it. She explains to the boys (Doc included) that she is only looking after them as a favor to Brock, nothing more. In fact, she's going to make Brock's life easier by turning the Venture boys into men. She cocks her gun and forces the boys to do their best and dodge the flying bullets. She also teaches Hank and Dean how to do hand-to-hand combat (heh, that's when Hank pokes Molotov in the belly button and goes, "Boooop!"). Dean initially knocks Hank down, but Hank cheats by grabbing a pencil and stabbing Dean in the foot. Dean starts bleeding all over the place and immediately collapses (Hank: "Holy crap! You made me kill Dean!").

Meanwhile, Brock gets his assignment from the OSI. Turns out, his target for this particular mission is the very man that taught him all he knows: Hunter. He is offered several nifty gadgets (all of which he refuses), boards a submarine, dons a tuxedo, has some lobster and champagne... y'know, all the standard James Bond stuff. Just as he's ready to enter a drop zone and do some crazy secret agent moves, Molotov calls him up and informs him that there's trouble at the compound because he neglected to tell her that they live right above an Indian burial ground (ghosts start surrounding them). Brock, sounding more annoyed than surprised, sighs, "Is it the anniversary again already?" and tells her to call in Doctor Orpheus. Orpheus clears up the mess, but just as he tries to get to know Molotov, Hank shoves him away. Uh-oh, Hank's developing a crush. He even takes down his Mary Lou Retton and Danica Patrick posters! Serious stuff.

The next morning, Hank goes as far as dressing up like a Chippendale's dancer and serving Molotov breakfast in bed. However, when he wakes her up, she instinctively starts choking him. This doesn't make Hank love her any less. Brock, after spending the night with a girl in an Ursula Andress swimsuit, calls in to check up on the boys. Then, there's another flashback to his training days with Hunter. This time, he's in France, wearing a striped shirt, beret, and false 'stache. Hunter's got his five o'clock shadow but he's dressed as a woman. Nice. It is there that Hunter teaches Brock the rule about "no women, no children", even if they are agents or assassins. Moments later, they spot a two-eyed Molotov in the distance.

Aaaaand back to present time. As Hank and Dean continue training in the pool, Molotov unpacks some supplies in the rumpus room. Doctor Venture accidentally startles her so she kicks him against the wall (hard). He starts bleeding from the mouth, so Molotov helps him up. Just as Hank swims down to the window (the view from the rumpus room is into the pool), Doc Venture apologizes for hitting on Molotov earlier and asks if they can at least be friends. Molotov smiles. Hank fumes. He sees her red lipstick and the red on Doc's collar (blood) and lets out a cry... underwater. He immediately sinks to the bottom. Meanwhile, Triana and her friend, Kim (the cyber-punk girl in pink from one of Jackson Publick's preview pics), ask Dean to use the pool. When they notice that Hank has disappeared, Dean swims to the bottom and motions for Molotov to come out and save Hank.

A slightly Sandlot moment as Molotov gives Hank mouth-to-mouth, which Hank turns into French-kissing. Molotov leaves to rinse her mouth of Hank's milk breath. This is my favorite part of the episode...

Dean: Hank! We've got big troubles! The Apaches are back!
Hank: What?!
Dean: Look! Tee-pee in your trunks!
Hank: [running around] MY PANTS ARE HAUNTED! MY PANTS ARE HAUNTED!

Later, Molotov strips down to get ready for a shower. She takes a detour to Brock's room, where she romantically sighs when she sees he's kept her eyeball on his nightstand after all these years. She flashes back to their night in France almost twenty years ago. They were doing some heavy kissing, but just as they were about to get on the bed, spikes jutted out of her boots and she stabbed Brock in the sides. "You cocktease!" She stabbed Brock to the bed, set the room on fire, and lept out the window. Awesome. Back in present time, Hank finds Molotov's boots and starts rubbing them on his face. The spikes jut out and prick him in the neck. Hank immediately goes on a drugged out trip. Molotov appears to him from a wall of fire and opens up her outfit, revealing her breasts... but they're not her breasts, they're talking Hank heads. They repeatedly order, "Kill Pop!" God, that's such a fucked up image. Anyway, Hank starts trudging around like a zombie, grabbing a huge knife off the wall, and looking for his dad. He finds Doc Venture at work with a microscope...

Hank: Father?
Doc: Yes, Hank.
Hank: I want to kill you.
Doc: That's nice. Play pirate somewhere else. Your father's busy.
Molotov: [running in] Hank! Nyet!
Hank: Molotov! I want to... [unintelligible screaming; sounded like "kill a baaaaaby!" to me, for some reason]

Awesome, awesome, awesome The Doors reference (intro to "The End"). We see Hank beat Doc repeatedly with the knife. Holy crap! This part cuts back and forth between Brock's own mission to kill his father-figure, Hunter. He finally tracks him down to a place where he's undergoing plastic surgery to disguise his identity. Just as Molotov stopped Hank, the plastic surgeon stops Brock. Although the surgeon pleads with him, Brock decides to kill Hunter (who is unconscious) anyway. Brock pulls away the sheet covering Hunter's body and is horrified to find that he's got implants. Breast implants. Big breast implants. He tries to finish the assignment, but Hunter's voice echoes in his head... "No women and no children!" He throws his knife into the table and leaves (well, he starts to leave, comes back to peek a little lower into the sheet, shudders, and then really leaves).

Credits roll. We find out that Hank's knife was just papier-mache. Phew. Hank quietly weeps as he watches Molotov speed off.

Apparently, there were Sneakers and Chinatown references in the episode? I'm not very familiar with those films so I couldn't catch them.