The Daily Show: July 25, 2006

"A Current Affair": NYC Mayor Bloomberg tried to calm the masses in Queens after Con Ed failed to finish repairs. Bloomberg praised Con Ed for what they had done so far, and the guy behind him was all like, "OMGwhutever." Ahh, that made me giggle. Nice poker face. This led to Jon's Camera Three talk, calling for the use of alternative energy sources. In fact, Camera 3 was an Eco-Camera 3000... Of course, it died halfway through Jon's speech. I like the steam-powered iPod they showed. I was going to make a "hot pocket" joke right here but I've decided against it. I'm lame enough as it is.

"Depress Conference": Remember when Bush paid a surprise visit to Iraq? Yeah. We do too. Bush brought the Iraqi Prime Minister to DC to talk about the situation in Lebanon. Blame all the trouble on Shrapnel, the Despair Penguin. Damn you, Shrapnel, and your sorrow-shitting abilities!

"Trendspotting": Demetri Martin returned with a report on the wonders of hookah bars. I loved that he played off the common misconception that hookahs are used solely for weed (they're usually for flavored tobacco, actually). Demetri's best moment was definitely when he explained how Americans got Olive Garden from World War II (after the expert told him that hookah bars are probably hot right because of soldiers bringing some Mideast culture to the States). Jon also made a brief appearance (in normal-people clothes!), telling Demetri to clean his shit up in the Trend Headquarters. And before the commercial break, Plainclothes Jon had some fun on Demetri's Segway. Haha, that made me smile.

The night's guest was Ed Burns from The Groomsmen. Holy crap, the acting in the clip he brought was absolutely abysmal. Wow. I normally don't pay much attention to the clips, but... seriously. That was bad. Anyway, he and Jon discussed relationships/family. Nothing too remarkable.

Jon/Stephen: Sorry. I wasn't paying much attention to what Stephen Colbert was actually saying (something about letting a summer intern write his banter). I was busy seething over the fact that Comedy Central fucked up the ticket confirmation I had for the night's taping of The Colbert Report. Sigh. Pinstripes and a really nice, red tie. Why did Colbert have to look so good? And why wasn't I there to see him look so good in person? Double sigh. Moment of Zen: General Schoomaker didn't say that we're winning... but he doesn't think we're losing. Smooth move, Schoomaker.