The Daily Show: August 2, 2006

Apparently, New York is still melting away in the blistering heat. The news shows are having loads of fun demonstrating to the rest of the country just how freaking hot it is. For example, ABC decided to leave a full crew inside a van, parked outside. Surprise, surprise, they started sweating. Top-notch journalism there. CNN even found a gentleman from Africa. "OMG! This guy from Africa says it's hotter here in NY than it is... in Africa! LOLZ."

"Tossed In Translation": The Army recently dismissed an Arab translator, Bleu Copas, after he was outed through an e-mail. They even questioned him before kicking him out, asking things like -- this is no joke -- whether or not he had ever participated in community theater. The lesson is: Don't ask, don't tell, don't do community theater (no matter how much you love Damn Yankees).

The president recently had his annual physical and was pronounced "fit for duty". And it wasn't until TDS' montage until I realized just how many freaking times Bush has excitedly jabbered about food during his speeches (especially those with foreign nations)... that is, when he's chewing his food right in front of Tony Blair's face. I also laughed a little too loudly when, upon hearing that Bush's weight is now up to 196, Jon shouted, "That fat FUCK!"

"10 Fucking Years": Haha, a full segment on the reports TDS has done in Florida, land of idiots (I'm allowed to say that 'cause I've lived here all my life... Idiots for the win). Everything from artificial lawn controversy to impending buzzard takeovers to deadly coconuts have been covered. My two favorite parts: Vance Degeneres trying to question a stripper while getting a lapdance, Steve Carell speaking in tongues.

The night's guest was Chris Paine, writer and director of Who Killed the Electric Car? (Mel Gibson makes an appearance in the movie... and we all know who he thinks killed all the electric cars). The film itself looked kind of boring (bad clip, maybe) but the discussion was pretty good. Chris and Jon discussed the decline and eventual disappearance of the electric car, probably caused by the big, bad auto companies. I never gave this subject much thought until now (it's all been hybrid, hybrid, hybrid as of late) but it sounded like something that we should definitely keep our eyes on. Interesting stuff.

Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert tried out a new move... Since he usually takes off his glasses for dramatic effect, he tried to put on another pair of glasses to decrease the drama. Moment of Zen: The president's tummy feels funny 'cause he had too many birthday cakes.