(S06E12)

Marge: Kids can be so cruel.

Bart: We can? Thanks, mom! (runs into Lisa's room and attacks her)

This episode does a great job of satirizing Freemasons, a fraternal order whose secretive membership makes it ripe for conspiracy theories and assorted rumors about its role in shaping historical events. The truth, most likely, is probably not nearly that exciting.

In this episode Homer joins a masonic-like society called the Stonecutters after stalking Lenny and Carl to find out why they're getting so many perks, such as vibrating chairs at work and great parking spaces. Since his father was a Stonecutter, Homer is automatically allowed to join, but he does have to go through a hazing ritual, which includes being paddled on the ass repeatedly and being blindfolded and pushed off a platform that's allegedly five stories off the ground, but is really just a few inches from the floor. Ironically, Homer actually falls through the floor, and the next five floors, as well.

Homer is almost kicked out of the club when he desecrates the charter, but as he's naked and pulling the Stone of Shame out of the hall, they notice his birthmark in the shape of the Stonecutter emblem, which means he's the chosen one. Homer, who never belonged to a club in his life, is actually now the most popular member of the Stonecutters, and his lackeys make sure he never fails at anything. When he bowls, Wiggum shoots down and standing pins, and they even make up new poker hands so Homer wins every time. Lisa warns him that he'll be left spiritually unfulfilled, and to counter this, Homer turns the Stonecutters into a more civic-minded organization that helps make Springfield a better place. They're not interested in such things, so they change their name to "No Homers" and kick Homer out, just as some kids did when Homer was young. Homer does try to keep the Stonecutters going with a group of Civil War-reenacting monkeys, but that doesn't quite pan out.

Favorite moments:

• The Stonecutters' song where they tell all about what they've accomplished, such as keeping aliens a secret, keeping the metric system out of the schools, and making Steve Gutenberg famous
• Bart and Lisa's "whistle rings"
• The Stone of Shame being replaced with the Stone of Triumph, which for some reason is much, much larger