The Daily Show: August 8, 2006

BP shut down one of their main pipelines, after finding that it was dangerously corroded (higher gas prices on the horizon, kids). Correspondent Rob Corddry elaborated on the situation, live from Alaska and wearing a hard hat. "I feel a little silly walking around with a shiny dome where my hair should be." Awww. Bald joke. Rob had a little trouble explaining the pipe line so he left it up to Alaska Senator Ted Stevens... "It's a series of tubes!" However, Rob had no problem talking about the sealing process, which involves actual seals. Baby seals, preferably. The baby seals are forced into the holes in the pipe line. Really back-breaking work... Meaning they have to actually break the backs of the seals. The audience reaction to this was really funny, especially to the Photoshopped picture of a baby seal stuck in a pipe line. Big laughs for Rob.

"Win, Lose, or Withdraw!": So, Donald Rumsfeld, recently said that he's never painted a rosy picture of the war and even added, "And you'd have a dickens of a time trying to find instances where I've been excessively optimistic." O RLY? A dickens of a time? Well, TDS didn't seem to have much trouble in squashing these claims. And Alberto Gonzales ended up being the one having a dickens of a time when he had to answer a torture-related question from John McCain. The pregnant pause allowed Jon enough time to make a paper crane and bake some muffins. Ahh, I love it when a prop gag goes right. Brilliant. The eventual answer was less than satisfying. Gonzales said that it all depended upon whether he and McCain had the same definition for "cruel, inhumane and degrading treatment". Yup. "You call it an electrified anal prod, I say to-mah-to." And in a final clip, Condoleezza Rice refused to answer a question about the war because she didn't want to talk about hypotheticals. "In her defense, the last time the administration acted on a hypothetical, we invaded Iraq."

"Back in Black": Lewis Black poked some fun at Joe Lieberman, "Connecticut's most circumcised senator", and the kiss he recently shared with President Bush. Well, it wasn't as bad as his over-the-bra hold on Kay Bailey Hutchinson. Oh, and by the way, Katherine Harris is still a crazy bitch. Her own party won't even take her.

The night's guest was NBC Nightly News' Brian Williams. Williams has always been a great TDS guest and this interview was no exception. He was charming and funny without overpowering Jon. Plus, when Jon asked him about the potential anchor wars between Williams, Katie Couric, and Charlie Gibson, Williams made a little jab at the possibility of a similar thing happening to Jon and Stephen Colbert. Very funny.

Jon/Stephen: No Colbert toss 'cause, according to audience reports, the taping ran long (they had to wait for Brian Williams to finish his own show before arriving). Moment of Zen: Pat Robertson's in Israel, enjoying the beautiful view and death bombs.